Why? Why? Tell 'em That it's Human Nature...

Why…? why…? Tell ‘Em That It’s Human Nature…
It’s not really human nature so much as it is GIRL nature. I actually have no current beef with any female (or male for that matter) but I can’t help but notice everything that’s going on lately and I think to myself WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
Why what, Sally?
WHY ARE GIRLS SO FUCKING CRAZY???
Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally a girl’s girl but lately I’ve noticed this growing trend of bullshit ranging from poor treatment of people (some deserved, some not, some of my friends are the instigators, some are the victims), cattiness, CONCEITEDNESS, jealousy—and frankly all this stems from insecurity, I think.
There’s so much that’s wrong that I don’t even know where to start and doubt I can cover it all in one blog so I’m going to hit the most glaring ones.
1.) Attention mongers: A majority of what makes me want to gag are from stuff I see on the net-- Statuses on g-chat, facebook, profile pictures…Everything from suggestive song lyrics to uploading only the MOST attractive photo of you (which is generally a headshot snapped emo style, head pushed out forward—maybe tilted to the side, gobs of make up and probably took about 100 frames to get the right one). I mean I get that no one wants to look like swamp thing and it’s nice to have a pretty picture of yourself. But when it’s like every picture and it changes daily, you have a problem. The latest one has been everyone changing their picture to a celeb that they most resemble. I’d like to preface my next statement with, I think all my friends are either attractive or have attractive qualities about them. But that said, I do wonder if some own anything even remotely reflective because you don’t look like that celeb like at all. And it doesn’t mean you’re ugly if you don’t. They have a team of people to make them look like that every day. And in the grand scheme of things, why does that really matter at all? Because at the end of the day, you’re still you. You’re not ever going to look just like or be Angelina and that’s okay. Just as bad is when other girls reinstate this stupid fact into the person who posted the picture’s brain by saying “OMG you so look like her!” Or if they don’t look like them and someone comments “I don’t see the resemblance…” People get mad! “I can’t believe she doesn’t think I look like ________. EVERYONE tells me I look like _________.” UMMMM WHO CARES? Next, the whole bra color status thing on facebook. I did it initially because a friend of mine sent me a message to do so and i was like “oh weird…why does she want me to do that?” (b/c all it was was a message saying hey whats up sally and change your status to bra color (I don’t want to post the message and call her out) so I did. Then I noticed that everyone else’s was changing too and the guys were catching on. It wasn’t until a friend of mine from high school posted a very simple but oh so true fact that it was for Breast Cancer Awareness and that changing your status wasn’t going to do anything and that if people just donated one dollar, that would’ve done more than the completely useless wave of status change…I wonder if some did it to be suggestive and “sexy” to guys. The same way someone will post some “sexy” lyric from a song like “When it comes to love if it’s not rough it isn’t fun…” If you’re seeking sexual attention that badly from men, be a stripper, an escort, or go to a shrink and find out why you need validation from men so badly. I totally get wanting to be appealing to the opposite sex if that’s what you’re attracted to but overt attempts to be sexy just look easy and desperate.

2.) Prom queen: Why oh why are you feeling the need to go out your way to friend request someone you met once? So your friend count is higher? Why do you notice or care when someone removes you as a friend from the INTERNET WORLD?? Why are you commenting on people’s pages of those people you met once or never see or have some variation of a fake relationship with? Obviously there’s not enough time in the world to get to know everyone ever and maintain a friendship and some people are acquaintances but I think we all know that sometimes people just reach out via text, fb, email etc to people just to get a response back. To make them look “popular” by having X amount of texts, face book comments (ditto goes for the happy birthday comments),

3.) Models and bottles: Unless you’re Tyra, Heidi or Giselle and actually in a real mainstream magazine or represent a label, no one gives a fuck that you’re a model. And even if you are, it still doesn’t matter. You’re still a photogenic walking hanger. I understand that for some it’s totally something that they want to do for a career or it’s fun to do from time to time and that’s awesome because with my poor self esteem and fear of cameras, you know there’s no way in hell I’d be brave enough to do that. But seriously? MODEL DOES NOT EQUAL GOD OR THAT YOURE THE SHIT b/c your friend, your friend’s cousin, some dude you met on craigslist snaps your picture. In regards to the bottles part of the models and bottles section, working at a club or knowing someone who works or own a club also doesn’t mean anything ESPECIALLY in this area where EVERYONE knows someone. It’s not special, it doesn’t make you famous, cool or envied. It makes you a clubber. That’s it.
Quite frankly, my list goes on and on but those were the top three things that have realllllllllllllly been bugging the shit out of me. The fourth place runner up that I just thought of and want to touch on briefly is Miss Sensitivity. MY GOD. When has everything become so political with girls?? Probably since the dawn of time and me being the reigning queen of Miss Naivety for the past 26 years, I feel like it’s even more so now. Every week, not a day goes by when someone I know (and sometimes first hand myself) where I hear a story about so and so being mad at so and so because they didn’t show up at their birthday or invite them to this or that or didn’t come out with everyone when they went to that or preferred to do this to that…WHO CARES? I sincerely hope that friendships are worth more than someone’s appearance at one event. I feel that people shouldn’t have always have to justify why they didn’t go to so and so’s party or invite someone or whatever it is. Sometimes it’s really not personal so stopping taking it that way! If you don’t want to do something, no one should make you feel bad about your choice.
I could seriously go on and on about other stupid shit that girls do that drive me up the wall (another being the girls who say they hate other girls and always have had/prefer guy friends. RIGHT.) Know the movie Mean Girls and how much everyone loved that it was so true to life? If Tina Fey so chooses, she could make that the longest series of movies ever b/c girls pull all kinds of stupid shit. It’s increditble!
Long story short: WTF ladies. Get it together.
Short story long: I’m not going to be a hypocrite and say I’ve never done anything like that before because I have. And maybe I will again but dear GOD I hope not because it’s stupid. I think I have a pretty good grasp on the people who do it from time b/c it’s fun (totally acceptable) to those who do it because they need to fill some sort of void (unbeknownst to them it’s the void b/c their ears where a brain should be…) Do what you do, what you do is all on you but if you are “guilty” of any of this—at least fucking admit it instead of acting coy. I much more respect (respect being the operative word, not like) people who say “yeah I do it to get attention” vs those who try to play it coy. In the words of brit brit “You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here but I know what you are…what you are baby…”
Just be prepared when one day my patience for you slips and I’ll definitely tell you to your face what’s up.