Burn Baby Burn

It's 1:14 am EST in the good ol' FC and what am I doing? I'm blogging. It's a Friday night and I'm blogging. Not like I went out and came home and decided to blog but I don't have much of a choice, along with the other residents of the DC Metro area because we are all miserably snowed in. Ughhhhhhhhhh.

Anyways, what deserves and even bigger UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! is the convo I had with yes, my lil sis Julie. I swear the two of us have the most random and hilarious convos ever. Partly because I think she's half a step away from being a pilgrim and she thinks I'm half a step away from being on the pole. (Completely false btw)

So we started talking about relationships--mind you this is my YOUNGER sister. She was giving me a big list of things that I am doing or have done with males that are inappropriate and misleading--none of which are even physical (I'm not that kinda girl!)

I chatted with her about playing guitar with my BFF and naturally since the BFF is a male, she put on her pilgrim bonnett and grilled me with questions. "Are there at least two adults present when you guys 'play the guitar'??" I was like "One, we DO play guitar and he DOES teach me guitar things and two, yes there are two adults present--us! Why??" She was like "I don't like the sound of that...you guys play in his ROOM? Do you keep the DOOR OPEN? YOU SIT ON HIS BED??" I almost wanted to gross her out and say "actually, no, i dont sit on his bed. I sit on his face" just to mess with her but I think that would've put her 22-yr-old heart into cardiac arrest.

She tsk tsk tsked and told me that i was forbidden to sit on his bed and advised me to bring a camping chair with a cupholder (gotta keep it classy...) for when i go over since they're afforable and portable. I told her she was nuts. She wondered if he had a gf and I told her not to my knowledge. She asked if I was his gf. And i gave her the same response. Then she almost had a fit! After she was finished screaming in horror at my "sluttish" behavior (oh yeeah, playing guitar is really racy...) and told me that I was in a bad situation because "adult situations" can happen (yes she really said that) and I certainly wasn't going to meet any men at his place.

I rolled my eyes (which was kinda pointless since we were on the phone--she lives in portland) and told her that I'm meeting men elsewhere. To which she let out a hurricane of a sigh of relief, saying that she was glad I was meeting men (she wants me at the altar asap b/c she wants a niece or nephew--yeah NOT HAPPENING any time soon!) I was like whatever Jules.

Blah blah blah. ANYWAYS, so this is where it gets interesting. SHE told ME that once I have a bf, my guitar playing days with the BFF are OVER. I'm like are you serious?? AS IF. My future bf is not going to give a hot damn! Then it turned into this...

Me: JULIE, chill out. My future bf won't even CARE. All we do is play the guitar.
Julie: Would he be there with you guys?
Me: No. That's WEIRD. But I guess he could come over too. I don't know. I wouldn't invite him and i wouldn't not invite him.
Julie: And you think he's going to let you go?
Me: LET me? I will do whatever I want!
Julie: HAAAAAAA. Right.
Me: What??
Julie: Have you and this bff ever done anything as more than friends, like things that you don't do with your other male friends?
Me: ....yes...
Julie: Yeah, he's definitely NOT going to let you go. I mean would you let him?
Me: I dont give a crap.
Julie: LIES! You may SAY that now but you don't mean it. Or even if you mean it now, when the situation comes along and it's HIM hanging out with HER. Oh. You'll care. You may not admit it out loud, but inside, you'll care. BOY will YOU care. Psh. Yeah. You'll CAAAAAAAAAARE.
Me: Okay fair. So i won't tell him that we were more than friends before.
Julie: Lying through omission is still a LIE you LIAR. HOW DARE YOU LIE TO YOUR BF?? I bet you wouldn't like it if HE lied to YOU ESPECIALLY about something like that. He wouldn't let you go ESPECIALLY if he knew it was a former something. He'd be worried that you and your "bff" would relight the candle of love.
Me: OKAY ONE WE WERE NEVER BF/GF OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. There is NO candle to be relit because there was never a candle in the first place!
Julie: OMG, that's even WORSE. There's so much more wick to be burned in your candle of love then! How dare you treat your bf like that?
Me: I'm ending this conversation because I don't even have a boyfriend right now so please stop yelling me for poor treatment of imaginary boyfriend....

Way too many rules. But anyways yeah, regarding the sitch, I mean--I'm right right?? Please don't say that she's right. GAHHHHHHHH I refuse to be outknowledged in the male/female relationship department by a PILGRIM.