Rather Waste My Time With You

I'm not just quoting The Used b/c I went to their concert the other night (i'll def have to put my review up there on that whole thing later.)

I don't know exactly what came over me but I realized the other day that I've been kinda a shitty friend latey but completely unintentionally. And while I realize some of the time it's been to people I don't completely care about all that much anymore, I also realized it IS the people I care about the most too.

I've forgotten birthdays. I've forgotten to go to things I promised I would. I never remember to text back. I've flipped out at one particular friend even though they didn't deserve it. (Though I did apologize and said person was more than forgiving, I still feel like a first class asshole.)

I'd like to blame early on-set dementia for it but that's simply not true. It's just because I'm an asshole who has a hard time remembering stuff now.

This weekend I'm going to dedicate as much time as I can to trying to right my wrongs. Not sure why I felt the need to publicize it and yes, this is again another friend related blog, but i dont know.. felt right. Not to mention it's thunderstorming AGAIN for the 3rd time tonight and i'm TERRIFIED of storms so I've got some time on my hands.

Ok enough of this. I'm going to go get my business done! Sally shall not sucketh at being a friend anymore. I'm going to find ways to show my love to some friends I've been not so great with (again UNINTENTIONALLY) and hopefully all will be well. I'd rather waste my time with them than with some fakies and sucktards that i've come across.

And i think i'm going to start a diff kinda blog that Jones suggested I start (well it's a book actually but i'm going to start off with a blog). Very excited and i'll keep you all posted!

That's Just the Way It Is

Who fell of the blog every day wagon? This girl right here. OH WELL.

Moving along, friendships have been on my mind today. I didn't wake up thinking about it. More like, I was talking to someone today who's going through a rough patch with 2 of her friends and each of the 2 friends want to have 'a talk' with her. Yikes. Talk about sentences in your life you can do with out--"We need to talk" definitely tops the list. In theory, it's good. It lets people vent and actually say to the person's face what they feel. Good. People at the end of the conversation then feel better in the moment but then when you actually think about it, it's not really that great and it's almost like now there are more boundaries and confusion than when the conversation started. Bad.

But like everything in life, it depends on each situation.

Anyways, it reminded me of a falling out I had with 2 friends of mine and I was the odd girl out. I woke up to a 16 page email about how the girl thought I was a terrible and to quote her "toxic" and "fake" person. Since this was the first thing I got in the morning on little sleep after I had a huge falling out with someone I was interested at the time (who also happened to be my coworker..yayyyyy), it was too much for me to handle and I burst into tears. Looking back, I wish I never wasted one tear on the situation. Luckily by the time I got a 10 page email followup, I didn't cry. I rolled my eyes. I agreed to meet this person for coffee to 'air things out' and I thought we came to an understanding after the conversation. We didn't. The other girl in the situation happened to be sisters with the girl who sent said emails and we also had 'a talk.' I'll spare you the drama, we're not friends anymore. And I couldn't be happier. And not even in that bitchy "look at me now bitches" way but in a, it really wasn't meant to be sort of way. [and side note: the coworker i had a falling out with? closer than ever now vs the two girls i swore were like extra sisters. I used to use the sisters phrase generously with close friends but now i really only mean it about one. She knows who she is. And if she doesn't...it's YOU ASHLEY.]

It's weird because people always told me that your friend list will dwindle the older you get. I laughed b/c I was like uhh hello, i'm not Sally Socialite b/c i don't have the social skills to make and keep a relationship. My reputation is built on knowing lots of people and being nice/genuine to them.

But dammit all, these "people" ended up being right. I'm barely living up to my socialite name. I still chat with people old and new with ease but I'm MUUUUUUUUUUUUCH more choosy about doing it.

My one year at work is coming up tomorrow and instead of thinking about my achievements ::brushes shoulder's off:: I'm thinking about a girl I previously blogged about (http://sallysocialite.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-to-save-life.html) who I was supposed to meet up with and never did. Maybe I should've given that friendship more of a chance? I dont know. Now she's passed away and while it doesn't often bother me, it is lately. I know somethings wrong b/c anyone who knows me (or reads this blog) knows that I'm not one who's shy with talking things on loop or crying but I can't do it with this sitch. I'm not in denial...and yet I can't seem to come to terms that she passed away.

It's all like really weird. There's another friend I was super close with in college and even stayed with me over the summer last year and I really haven't her from her since. In fairness, I haven't reached out to her either. I'm actually annoyed by it all but haven't done anything about it either so how annoyed can I really be?

Then there are some more "A list" friends that I know are there because they were SOOOOOO good to me before but now I'm like why are they in my "A list"? Again, not meaning that in a bitchy way. Both people and situations with each person are so differnt but it seems my..'issue' for lack of better word is the same. They seem really self involved and have this new found 'self empowerment' which I normally am very supportive of and gravitate towards but something's not right. And do i say anyhting? Nope. Partly because I know I'm not perfect and partly because as I said earlier, 'having talks' sometimes just makes things worse but mostly because, I'm not sure I care if it does. Sounds callous but that's just the way it is. I dont see why I should have to make them realize they need to think about how they're coming off to me or the quality of their friendship, when I have quality friends who I may not talk to or see as often but show me it time and time again. One year is going through a rough patch with a friend but 3 years of questioning my friendships with them? A bit much. I can't be fake so I've steadily ignored and avoided calls and calling them because what's there to say? Still, as much as I hate to admit it, i do have love for said people so I guess I'll continue to play it by ear...

Let's end on a bright note, to those friends I dont reach out to enough or see as often as I should but have remained true, even if we're not very close, I feel really lucky to have you in my life and sorry to all for being that emolicious blog we all make fun of.


And normally I have a poignant and thoughtful quote or song to close it all out with but all i can think about is that damn Tupac song that i dont even like and he's not even rapping/singing the lyric but, here it is:
That's just the way it is//things will never be the same//that's just way it is...oh yeah.

That Funky Monkey

Actually, not so much a funky monkey as a dirty cunt monkey.

The old bitch (yes, of the GLUE IN YOUR SHOES WILL KILL EVERYONE) has officially downgraded herself in the Sally Pak burn book as dirty cunt monkey and will henceforth be known as DCM.

My iPod, Pingu, is currently in a coma and while I have the best doctors looking out for him (ok...2 coworkers and a former coworker), I'm forced to brave the gym sans iPod. Not as boring as I thought it would be since I stationed myself in front of a tv news screen and caught up with the world while an eldery man on the machine next to me sighed noisily every ten minutes or so followed by a headshake. I like to call him Mr. Ed given the horselike manner in which he excuted his sighs and headshakes.

Anyways, post work out, I hit the dry sauna per usual and felt naked without Pingu accompanying me. I hate being in public without my phone or iPod b/c it seems to give people the indication that I would love to speak with them about shoes and ships and ceiling wax, cabbages and kings... and basically other crazy/annoying shit. Or treat me as a personal clock, GPS or tour guide.

Whatever, anyways I thought i was in the clear with DCM until i saw her ugly melted candle of a face make an appearance. FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK MY LIFE. I desperately looked around for other Koreans she could speak to but only 2 people in there was 1.) a Filipino girl with an iPod (lucky bitch) and a towel on her face and 2.) an elderly Jewish man (he was rockin' a star of David) I like to call Horton, and has so much hair in his ear i don't think Horton heard a Whoo or anything else.

She doesn't say anything at first but I'm no fool so i turned my back to her and stretched and closed my eyes.

Yeah no such luck.

(all in Korean)
DCM: Miss? YOUNG Miss?
Me: *tersley* What.
DCM: You have some ugly skin on your ugly legs. What is that?
Me: I have "psoriasis"(that word was in english. fucked if i know how to say it in korean) *struggling to keep my voice neutral*
DCM: Just on the legs?
Me: Yep.
DCM: It's b/c you wear shoes in the sauna.

I snap around so suddenly that even Horton heard through his scrub brush ears and looked nervous.

Me: Please stop talking. I dont want to talk to an old crazy lady like you.
DCM: You wear SHOES in the SAUNA. That's why you have UGLY SKIN ON UGLY LEGS.

Horton's looking pretttty perplexed and keeps playing with his star of David, but doesn't seem to look away.

I actually didn't say anything for once in my life. I sighed much like Mr. Ed.

DCM: Hello? (she flips to english) You wear shoes in sauna. That's why you have UGLY SKIN. BECAUSE. YOU WEAR THE SHOES IN THE SAUNA.

I grip the towel that I'm sitting on and Horton looks like he's about to shit a brick.

Filipina decided to exit, but i'm not sure that was conversation related.

Me: [korean] It's BETTER THAN WEARING FLIP FLOPS B/C APPARENTLY THAT GIVES YOU UGLY FAT ON YOUR UGLY FACE AND YOUR UGLY BODY.

Horton's not a Korean-Jewish man so he has no idea what i said but he knows it wasn't nice. Horton may not hear a whoo but he's not a dumbass.

Horton finally stops looking terrified and actually looks at me sympathetically b/c he can see at this point I 1.) dont want to be spoken to 2.) obviously dont ENJOY having psoriasis or 'ugly legs' 3.) Just want this DCM to just leave me alone for fucks sake

He smiles kindly as he sees tears in my eyes and mutters for me to ignore her.

I smile back at him and blink back my tears. WTF, Sally Pak is a lot of things but a punk ass bitch being pushed around my Lumiere's great grandmother is NOT one of them.

I murmur back to him in a somewhat low tone that if she doesn't lay off I will smack her back to Sudan. Horton is confused and says he thought DCM and i were korean. I assured him that yes, we are but i was ready to hit her so hard that she would fly past the motherland and make another lap around and end up in a war ridden country where they hate women anyways. A transcontinental bitch slap if you will.

[well i said all of that minus the last sentence. too bad. it's fucking brill.]


I'm not sure if Horton knew if i was kidding or not (neither did i frankly) and calmly said that i didn't wanna do that or at least i shouldn't and to just ignore her. Don't be as immature as she is. Feel sorry for her. Pray for her! then leaves.


DCM is feeling QUITE left out at this point and interrupts with HMMMMMMM? You're speaking but i can't hear you.

I pick up my towel and without looking at her walk off. Middle finger in the air (sorry horton--it's not that i'm immature. it's that i'm one pissed bitch).

Mazel!

Na-na- na-na-na-na-knees, knees

I wonder how many of you counted the number of "na-na"s in my title to see if it matched the number that Axel Rose belted out in "Welcome to the Jungle." hahahha

Moving along, the pain in my right knee is AWFUL. I think I might go out and get crutches today but that seems all kinds of ironic in itself. I'm not supposed to move around and unfortunately I need to in order to get said crutches...

Needless to say this weekend has been a BLAST (I mean this with very heavy sarcasm). I didn't do a single thing. I went to the gym yesterday and that was pretty much the only time I left my house. I probably wouldn't even have done that if I didn't need cigarettes. Oh, hi again irony. I know I get it.

Initially I had plans to get coffee with Garth, walk with Linds and then out to the bar with Bex but due to 1.) Having a terrible fucking period (you're welcome male readers) 2.) Linds out car shopping (EEEK!!!! Very exciting...!!) and 3.) I'm ready to gnaw off my right knee, I think its a good thing that none of those things happened.

I webMD'ed myself which I don't usually do and it basically says to put ice on it, don't work out and quit being a fucking baby. No need for a doctor unless something breaks pretty much. Awesome.

I should probably take this time of being an injured bird to get myself organized. I'm beyond a hot mess. My room is a train wreck, I keep fucking forgetting about previous engagements and either missing them or getting flustered. I need to nip that in the bud.

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo supppppppppppperrrrrrrrr bummmmmmmmmmmmmmed about Janel's wedding and missing all of her wedding related things!!!! I sent a nice gift in lieu of my presence for her bridal shower but it's not the same! I'm trying to think of something nice to do for her including a trip up to see her. I'd like to drive but not alone but don't have anyone to join me [any takers?] I get lost a little too easily, get nervous on a high way and need someone not annoying to take along. Or, I could fly there but I don't know how close her new place is to the airport and it seems counter productive to go there and then be a burden to her and hubbie to be. I need to mull this over some more.

WAH. Unmotivated. I dont even wanna get up and brush my teeth right now.

PS Sigh again, so much for blogging more regularly. The other thing i was supposed to do was travel EVERYwhere with my dig camera so I could upload pix to my blog b/c as people never tire of saying "Pics or it didn't happen!"

Here in this Diary

Ok EPIC FAIL. I'm not capable of blogging EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I just can't do it. I don't always have access to my computer (i.e. i'm not at home 24/7) and blogging via phone is going to take forever and you all know how much I like to talk.

Besides, any of you who read Bridget Jones' Diary know that bitch didn't write in her diary every day either!

Wha-ha-happened these past few days. I don't even remember... I did see the biatch in the dry sauna again. You know "OB." I may have left our battleground triumphantly but let's face it, it was mostly a front. I was ready to battle her out again but as I tip toed to the sauna and peered in I knew I wasn't as badass as I led on. Badasses dont tip toe in. They walk in there like oh hi i run this bitch. WHAT.

I peeked in and didn't see her so I felt my shoulders relax. As I got closer I realized it WAS her. I'm just not in the mood to fight so I [not so] bravely closed my eyes and sat against a wall far from her. Or at least I'd like to think it was far. She was lying in the middle so... Anyways, she didn't see me and I pretended not to see her aka kept my eyes closed. Unfortunately all I wanted to do was stretch out (um hi, have you been on an eliptical set to a resistance of 20 for 45 minutes? Ouch. Well not so much as ouch as it is wanting to stretch it on out. But I would need to open my eyes for that and it just wasn't happening. I opened one eye warily and saw OB standing and staring STRAIGHT. AT. ME. She wanted to say something but I quickly closed that eye. Fail for both of us. She didn't get to talk and I was being passive aggressive.

She walked out and I stretched freely and now that my eyes were open, the sauna was filled with people wearing "SHOES WITH GLUE THAT IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE." What now biatch? I laughed to myself particuarly when OB returned and saw all of us in there with our death shoes on. She started to say something to me but this time I was less polite, kept my headphones on and walked out. See biatch!

Side note but totes relevant (aside from the fact that i hate that i openly use the word 'totes') It's Mardi Gras today and myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how things have changed. Here I am freshly showered blogging at 10pm about a fight with a 90 year old when just a few years ago, I'd be on my way to a bar that was doing something kitchy for Mardi Gras (ie when I celebrated Bacardi Gras circa 2007).

Pathetic.

And All That Jazz

Seriously? I missed blogging yesterday. I wasn't home at all except to change and go back out and eventually sleep. That totally puts a damper on blogging everyday for a year. I think I shoud get immunity b/c I wasnt home and sure I could've done it at work but it was AT WORK.. you know WORKING.

*sigh*

That said, I am balls tired. I can't stop saying the word balls. I dont know why! Everything is balls cold or oh balls. I know I pointed out that its my new fav saying but STILL. I'm balls tired b/c a friend of mine had to put her dog down to sleep minutes ago and I just got off the phone with her to make sure she was doing okay. And she is. Whew!

Change of topic, Happy 7th anniversary to the DC Girly Show! They put on a great production of Chicago last night at Phase. All the ladies and members of the DC Kings did an AWESOME job.

Zach Morris TIME OUT style: I have to braggy brag here for a second--my NoN-Best Friend, Private Tails (stage name obv) is TOTES the best performer of the bunch and she is amazing!!! Super pretty [i know, irrelevant but still, snaps to her genetics!) and has such stage presence! Best dancer, highest kicks, best splits, most energy--She's amazeballs (OMG BALLS AGAIN!) and if you haven't seen her yet or if you're not in this area, you have to go to a show/look her stuff up. FAB!

Ok, I'm going back to bed. Nothing funny or quirky to say but just wanted to blog to keep things up.

And for the record, to the losers who told me we were getting snowed out tomorrow, F. U.

It's PM showers and we'll be back up to 60 degrees by Weds...

Keeps Getting Better

I woke up this morning like a bitch. Bitch meaning a scary mean for no reason girl. I was ready to slice people with my cutting remarks. I barely looked up from my screen at work let alone uttered any words. I was pretty sure today was gonna suck.

It didn't!

I think it's helpful that the people on my floor are actually really nice so even if I wanted to be mean and nasty, I just couldn't.

I think the FML moment of the day was so horrifying, it just made me laugh. Turn about ten shades of red and laugh. Sometimes, it's like there's nothing else you can do. I was emailing my coworkers a forward from a pervy coworker. Long story short, this is the guy who 'accidentally' forgot I was Asian right after he announced that he's never had an Asian girl and has always wanted to bang one out. Classy.

Anyways, he had forwarded me an email from his consultant who is in love with him. It was pretty funny. Not so funny? She's ruining my life b/c she doesn't know how to do something pretty basic and it's beyond frustrating. So he forwards an email to my boss and me letting us know that his person is having some trouble. I wrote back to him saying that I hate his girlfriend and I would appreciate that in the future, he chose SMARTER girls. He wrote back saying that he's not gonna lie--he loves dumb girls! I snorted and forwarded his email to two girls that were in my department (the others were away from their desk) and the girl who sits by said person. We'll call him Ernie. My mean email with the forward below said "Yeah b/c that's the only girl that would go for him. [i.e. dumb] Just saying!" one girl snorted and giggled, another wrote to me expressing her agreement and the OTHER girl put my shit on blast b/c she wrote back to me and CC'ed ERNIE!!!! HE SAW MY MEAN EMAIL. Then writes to me saying that he appreciates my kind words.

Holy fuck. HOLY BALLS. HOLY. BALLS. I was horribly embarrassed.

I guess there's something to be said about don't say behind someone's back what you wouldn't say to their face.

You think that would've made my day worse but at that point I did the only thing you can do. Laugh. Heartily and really hard.

And then the rest of my day did fall into place.

I learned the following:

Meatloaf will do the following for love:
*Anything
Meatloaf will NOT do the following for love:
*That