Friday, August 1, 2014

Comfortably Numb

Haven't done this in a while. And maybe I should do more. A majority is bc I don't have the time and partly bc I hate speaking in round about ways but bc of the way social media dictates our life I know I have to be conscientious of what I write.

I am comfortably numb with my feelings for a lot of people. It's nice to finally realize where things truly are. It's not so nice coming to this realization and being scared to seal the deal. In theory letting people fall off and creating distance to allow that to happen is the best thing. The reality is i feel like sometime people deserve to know why they're not longer relevant in your life. It's so arrogant to use those words because no one has the right to tell anyone what they think you're  worth. 

...But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I've actually been on the you suck and here's why you suck end of things. Long story short someone wrote me 20+Page dissertation   about why I'm a toxic person once. Needless to say, it didn't feel awesome which I think it's why I have a hard time dishing it out to others--bc I know what the hell it feels like.

It's confusing bc I've been going through this lifeless unhappy fog for so long that I can't tell if I truly don't like certain people or if it's just the mad fog making me think they are not worth having around. 

I guess until I figure it out, I'll continue the  comfortably numb path.