Tuesday, January 8, 2013


That's the theme of my 2013. Fearless! I can't promise I'll stick to it but so far so good! Finally made it through a NYE without incident. 

2010 to 2011 I got a flat tire that night driving home. 

2011 to 2012 something like 8-10 guys walking by my car decided it was an awesome idea to hit on me and try to open my car door both driver and shot gun, sit on my car and convince me to go home with all of them innnnnnnnnnn the middle of Fairfax. So for those of you who aren't familiar with the Fax, it's the definition of safe suburbia.

 2012 to 2013...NOTHING. NOTHING! Hurray!!!!!! Hahhaha That's gotta be a good sign!

Not a good sign? That I went to Atlantic City over the weekend and it's Tuesday now but i'm still balllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllsssssssssssssssss tired. 

I wish I could publicly recap my whereabouts over the weekend but it was a company trip so my lips are sealed.

I won't leave you high and dry--what's a day with Sally w/o something totally absurd happening?

I present to you, Sally and the Hooker incident.

I was running on about 2 hours of sleep ready to get breakfast and check out of the hotel with my buddy who shall be known as Sunshine,  when the elevator stops and this disheveled looking broad is smoking a jack, drinking a martini and stands in the doorway of the elevator which keeps trying to close on her. Sunshine and I are on a time crunch but are too polite to tell the whore (literally) to move and um helloooo can't smoke in a non smoking area. Sunshine and I are smokers--we know this. Anyways, I half-heartedly hit door open and she flicks her cigarette menacingly at us and then spins around to finally throw it out the elevator door before joining us in the elevator.
This is going to be comfortable...

She turns to us and says Thanks bitches. You bitches couldn't hold the elevator?
Sunshine's face darkened and she muttered something to the effect of no we were holding open for you, shakes her head and then buries her face in her phone.

Hooker looks at me and says "Sos (yes as in the plural of "so") I'm a hooker right? And i just fucked 8 Russian guys! And fucked a hair dryer! And they're naked and i took pictures of alls of them! Fuckers. Try to take advantage of me but no im a smart bitch. IM A SMARRRRRRT BITCH."

I nod politely. "Yes. Yes you are."

She continues to yammer on about how her dad 
exploited for her body when she was 15 yrs old  blah blah blah. She also determined that i was a "smart bitch" and that im 22 years old and when i told her i was 29 she shrugged and said at least i was still firm. 
Did i mention she didn't have two front teeth and bleached out blonde hair? Yeah. She maybe weighed 7lbs maybe 7.4 lbs on a fat day. 

She also was furious that we're not instagram friends as she furiously searched for that great pic of myself i put up yesterday (um...we met in the elevator 5 minutes prior).

I swear she was following us until miracles of miracles, the phone rang and I was like omg so sorry need to get this!


Anyways. Back to fearless. 

I was exhausted most of the trip and didn't want to gamble b/c i'm poor enough as is but my work buddy definitely convinced me to play roulette. Normally I'd laugh in someone's face and suggest 5 ways they can fuck themselves if they thought I was going to waste my money like that but i looked down at my phone which says "Fearless" and put my money on the table after the dealer carded me. (Yeah i know...asian = forever 18 yrs old)

Watched the ball skip around the wheel of anxiety and...

Boom! Winner winner chicken dinner!!! A small win admittedly, but I think it's a sign of more good things to come.