Milky Milky Riiiiiighhhhht

Once upon a time there was a great debate about what came first, the chicken or the egg. Some say the chicken, some say the egg--which is like thanks Captain Obvious since those are the only two choices. (don't judge me!) And it's like why were people debating about this in the first place?? My guess is that this debate started hundreds of years ago like way before the internet and technology during times when people thought that playing with a hoop and a stick was the shit and stuff, by some totally bored farmers. (who obviously didn't have a hoop nor stick)

I introduce to you now, the modern equivalent to the the chicken vs. egg argument by two totally bored sisters without a viable excuse for this heated argument.

I present: MILKPOUCH VS STRAW.

Julie: I hated those stupid milk pouches. Worst invention ever.
Me: Agreed. Those were harder to get into than Ft. Knox.
Julie: IIIIIIIIII knoooooooooooow. Why did they change to those anyways??
Me: I don't know. I think it was for budget reasons but I'm not 100% sure...but that's a stupid excuse because seriously, I remember they made us watch an instructional video about how to open the milk pouches and I'm sure it took money to make that video...
Julie: Oh yeahhh. I remember the video. Yeah. If you have to make a video to teach people how to drink milk, that's too much work already. And you're right it did cost money to make that video. And I bet they ended up having to use ever MORE money on napkins b/c every day in the cafeteria they're be one person or another that had a milk pouch incident...
Me: I know! Half the kids would come back from class soaked in milk from failure to punch the straw through and the other half would be dehydrated because the straws didn't even make a dent.
Julie: And the teachers would get so mean if you needed help punching the straw through or b/c you had to ask for more napkins b/c it exploded because they only give you one flimsy napkin in that little utensil pack--you know, it had a fork, a spoon...
Me: And a spork and no one really know what to do with those. Sporks are so awkward...
Julie: They are. And teachers would also get mad if you asked for another straw because you dented the original one for trying to punch it through.
Me: Well it's not the straw's fault for being dented. It was the stupid pouches' fault for being made of bulletproof plastic...
Julie: It was NOT the pouches' fault. It was the STRAW's fault. What kind of straw isn't pointy enough to poke through plastic. It was a plastic bag. Not a metal one...
Me: Don't blame straws! It's supposed to be sharp enough to make it through plastic--not sharp enough so that it was a straw slash bayonette...
Julie: Don't blame the milk pouch! It didn't ASK to be brought into the world. It just was and if the straw cant accept the consequences...and besides, it had to be sturdy plastic or delivery would be a nightmare.
Me: Right because milk pouches are often packed with bubblewrap and nails...
Julie: Oh puh-lease. What if there was a really big speed bump?
Me: Why are we having this fight? Mom packed out lunches and we had juice boxes or sunny d...
Julie: True....but sometimes capri suns....which ALSO had bad straws...
Me: Whatever more like user malfunction... The straws were fine, the little foil circle was the one at fault.
Julie: Whatever! It's like the milk pouch thing all over.
Me: I'm over this conversation. I'm lactose anyways.