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Friday, March 20, 2009

These Are My Confessions Pt II (Just like Usher)

9:27 a.m. Janel has her eyes wide which causes me to have my eyes wide. Janel with eyes open at all before noon is shocking enough. She got as far as “Did you see those pants? Bright ass lemon“ before I held up my hand and started to giggle. Janel’s back was to the hall so she didn’t see that the lemon pantsed suspect was moving towards us.

9:38 a.m. AUGH!!! Candidate hiding in corner after I walked in with Janel and Nicole from our 9:30 break
9:43 a.m. Mayhem. Candidate keeps doing jack in the box act when I put him in the room, nervously popping his head in and out, Fax machine man—while very nice—just won’t shut up, phones are ringing non-stop and g-chat is blowing up.

9:43 a.m. Cramming my face with a sesame seed bagel. It’s bagel Friday after all. And just to be rebellious I used cream cheese that had walnuts in it. (I’m allergic to walnuts) but I figure they’re little enough where it shouldn’t make a difference, right?

9:59 a.m. The sound of sesames falling from the bagel on to the paper plait sounds like a rainstick.

10:02 a.m. Did I really just spell that p-l-a-i-t? I meant PLATE.

10:02 a.m. Andrew called in to let me know his person will be here any minute and is early as fuck. I asked him to define that he said “He was supposed to be here at 2:45.” Egads. What’s wrong with people?

10:06 a.m. Strike that. What’s wrong with me? I said e-gads. Who does that?

10:07 a.m. Me, apparently.

10:08 a.m. Okay I can’t wait. Gotta peeeeeeeeeeeee

10:17 a.m. I feel funny. Like head ache funny. I think the walnut thing was a bad bad bad idea. So much for sticking it to the man.

10:24 Chatted with EZ about the front desk area and a crazy biatch that will be joining out office. And he too brings up the alarmingly yellow pants. He’s a funny man and a great boss. Love it!

10:41 a.m. Janel’s got ANOTHER person in.

10:50 a.m. What’s cooler than being cool? ICE COLD! Yes, I managed to spill ice water down my arm and shirt and pants. Lovely. Just as well. The frat house either won’t mind or won’t notice that I’m walking around looking like a wet t-shirt contest contestant. It’s the frat house?
10:52 a.m. Did I mention that the big bro walked off the elevator just when I was muttering to myself how much I hated water? Luckily he already knows I’m insane.

11:01 a.m. McWeeney is blinded from lemon pant lady. I’m going to put out a warning. Code…yellow. Naturally.

11:16 a.m. EZ just caught me saying “USELESS!” and slamming the phone down. He walks by laughing and says “BUSTED! That was AWESOME.”

12:03 p.m. GAH! No clue what I want to eat for lunch.

12:10 p.m. Helping pimp Andrew out.

1:35 p.m. Back from a hilarious lunch with Janel. She’s too funny.

1:48 p.m. Helping pimp Andrew out.

1:52 p.m. Helping Andrew with the radio.

2:01 p.m Listening to Santeria. And everytime I hear this song it makes me blush for two reasons. 1.) I kareoked it by myself one drunken night and thought I was a rock star. Ahahah 2.) I had blasted it on my iPod when I was back from a run in the park and stretching and humming but then I figured since I was alone in the parking lot I belted on part out loud—you know the part that goes “And I won’t think twice to stick that barrel down straight down sancho’s throat/ believe me when I say that I got something for his PUNK ASS!” and took my head phones off before heading into my car. In the side view mirror I notice a family. Mom, dad and 2 small children who all looked quite upset with me. Eep.


2:44 p.m. Strange squeaky sound coming from the computer. Alarming. Eek!

3:11 p.m. Just like my fav band. 311. Whoop! Whoop!

3:51 p.m. I’m way too distracted to complete this diary. Hahahah maybe next time.