How I handled the Fridge Thief at Work:
In case it's too blurry and small to read, here's what it said:
So. I've heard from others (including myself) missing items from the fridge in the kitchen.
Simply put stop it.
Not simply put--it's not yours you didn't buy it you clearly didn't ask for permission so you're totally a theif who has a very strange diet of canned water, soy milk, yogurt, coke and frozen meals. Freak. Theif. Freakin' theif. Ahahah
Punishment = I will seriously make you eat the contents of the whole fridge.
I WILL BE CLEANING THE FRIDGE THIS FRIDAY AT 8:00 a.m. so if it doesn't have your name on it, say goodbye to that tasty lean cuisine,yogurt,dinner you had last night that you know would taste so good for lunch the next day.
I'm watching youuuuuuuu and I have assigned secret spies to keep their eyes out.
"I always feel like somebody's watchin' me!"
It's b/c we are.
Theif.