Monday, September 8, 2008

Apple Owns Me and My Beautiful Soul*

I've come to realize** that I'm like a broken iPod whose button is stuck on shuffle.

I am out of control*** and I can't help it. ****

I've always known it but like it really became clear to me just how effin' ridiculous and out of control I am until tonight when I was hanging out with Katie and Danielle.

Maybe it was the caffine from starbucks. Or the soy in the starbucks. Or like the endorphine thingies that kicked in since I just came straight from my run****. OR maybe it was the fumes from my car freshner (mango) that I spritzed on in lieu of body spray and perfume. Oh and a shower. Don't judge me. I was very resourceful a la MacGiver. Although since that's a bit dated, Jack Bauer. But I totally feel like a fakey referencing Jack Bauer b/c I don't watch "24". Calm down, not b/c I don't like it but I like dont really watch TV in general.Whatever.The only other option was to roll up to meet my darlin' friends in all my funky*****glory (does that sound like a pop punk band to you? My funky glory. maybe just b/c it reminds me of new found glory but then it only reminds me of that b/c of the word glory), back out******of plans or spritz on Windex that was in my backseat.

Fact is, I'm not gonna be stanky for my skankies (jk they are so not!) and I wasn't gonna punk out******** and I'm not Greek so I don't value Windex as much (I saw "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" I know what's up!) so I went for it. They didn't judge. I mean is laughing judging? I don't think so. I guess it could be. But no, not them.

AHHHH!!! Whatever! This is all beside the point.

The point is, I have this rare, socially humiliating disease called:

>>Note: Not the whole song is relevant. Sometimes I replace words with people's names to make it applicable to the scenario<<


I know.


But yeah I do. It's like musical tourettes!

In this blog alone, I've thought of dozens of songs as I typed:

*Jesse McCartney: "I want you and your beautiful souuuuuulllll" (Which now that I type it out sounds controlling and creepy. But he's too cute to be a creeper and LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm not a creeper. He's of age! He's 21!)

**Colby Caillat: "If you just realized what I just realized..."

:"I'm spinnin' outta control outta control!"

****Fergie: "The girl can't help it, the girl can't help it, the girl can't help it"

*****Cake: "She's going the distance....she's going for...SPEED", Chris Brown "Lemme see if
you can run it run it"
, Rihanna "Run, run, run run everybody move run"

***** Tone-Loc: "Funky cold medina..."

******Lil Jon & The East Side Boys "Back, back back it up! Awwwwww shoot!"

*******Bonecrusher "So I'm outside of the club and you think I'm a puuuuuunnnnnnnk"

Okay that's enough. I won't go into like everything everything but that's just a tiny sliver of what goes through my head.Which brings me to this.

Do i really need to seek professional help about this???

My mind just whirls into autopilot of songs.

And if THAT wasn't bad enough, I totally make up scenarios too! Like and keep it going!

>>Note: I don't actually believe this scenarios are really or would actually happen<<

Like really, check out this 2 sec clip from me and Katie's gchat convo:
Katherine: hehehehhahaa heart ya
me: nooooooo, i heart YOU. (Followed by you hang you!....ok fine on the count of didn't hang up!)

WTF is wrong with me???

I should totally like wedMD it but as awesome as webMD can be, let's be real:

1.) WebMD is way off sometimes. (I mean not that it can be blamed. It's just a website. Like if you were seriously dying and logging on to webMD then you deserve to die and by die I mean go to a psych ward b/c there's this thing called actually GOING to the doctor...)
2.) I end up thinking that I have a thousand things from the flu to allergies to diabetes to typhoid (a la oregon trail which is fucked up b/c i havent even been to oregon or had any desire to--not that there's anything wrong with it) to testicular cancer. Which is really bogus since I dont even have a testicular! Or testicals I mean. Whatever. Balls. Is that what testicular is? GAHHHHHHHH ok ok no more tangents. Sally = female = vagina. That's it.

EWWWWW Pleasee don't tell me you just thought of my vajay jay.

AND EWWWWWW please don't tell me you didn't until i just brought it up.

Looks like insomnia and postraumatic stress disorder is about to skyrocket...hahaha

OMG. I'm so ridiculous.Way to have this as my first blog right?I mean like first non myspace blog. I had my myspace blog on lockdown so only my friends would know what a re-re I am but whatever.

...Apparently it's no state secret that I am...

hahah whatever.

"You know you wouldn't want it any other waaaaaay..."