Saturday, April 24, 2010


Yep. You know it. It's time again for another ridiculous conversation with my lil sis Julie.

Today's nonsensical topic?

Nursery Rhymes/Lullabys

Me: Hey. You know that song about the mulberry bush and weasel and something goes pop?

Julie: Um, Pop goes the Weasle?

Me: Right. Yeah that. *singing* "All around the mulberry bush the pumpkin chased the weeeeasle."

Julie: Did you just say pumpkin?

Me: I did. It chased the weasle.

Julie: If by pumpkin you mean MONKEY.

Me: Oh right! Monkey. Not pumpkin.

Julie: You're ridiculous.

Me: Pumpkin, monkey--same thing.

Julie: Definitely not.

Me: Whatever. All around the mulberry bush the pumpkin chased the weasle, one of the two i dont quite remember thought it was all in the fun, POP goes the weasle.

Julie: WHAT? First of all, I just said it was MONKEY and you definitely said PUMPKIN again. It's Monkey. MON. KEY. And it was the MONKEY that thought it was all in the fun.

Me: Picky, about that monkey and which one of those two thought it was all in the fun?

Julie: The monkey.

Me: Right. So...what was the Pop! about? Did the monkey bonk that weasle on the head for shits and giggles and that's what the pop is? OR did the weasle get super irritated with the monkey and was like GET UP OUT MY SHIT YOU DUMBASS MONKEY and when the monkey didn't stop chasing him, the weasle was like POP! as in he put a cap in the monkey's ass?

Julie: Are we really having this conversation?

Me: Yes. Now I want an answer.

Julie: The weasle clearly hit the monkey.

Me: The weasle should go to anger management. Such violent song. People complain about violence in rap music--well i think it's safe to say we should shift that energy to kids songs.

Julie: For real. Like all of them are about something terrible.

Me: Such as..?

Julie: London bridge is falling down, Rockabye Baby, Ring around the Rosie...

Me: I thought of one that's not! The one that no one knows the words to. Lullaby and goodnight and no one knows the words to this song...

Julie: That song is creepy. Like a lifetime movie when someone steals a baby. You can hear them singing softly, "lullabbbbbbbbbbbbyyyy aaaaaaaand gooooooooodniiiiiiiiightttt" all slow and creepy like. Then Linda Hamilton is stuck spending the next 90 minutes finding her baby...

Me: You're crazy.

Julie: But I'm right. Tune into lifetime sometime...Anyways, all lullabys are creepy and violent.I'm not singing them to MY kids if i have them.

Me: What are you are you going to sing to them instead? You listen to Queen, Billy Joel, and pot smoking artists. You're gonna be over the crib singing "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for meeeeeeee for meeeeeee for MEEEEEEEEEEE!" or "Sing us a song you're the piano man! Sing us a song tonight!"

Julie: Better than your horrible mix of music. "Womanizer woman-womanizer OH womanizer OH you're a womanizer baby" or "Bend over to the front touch your toes" That's not appropriate either.

Me: I think we'll leave it to Lisa [our big sis] to have all the kids in the family...