T-T-T-Telephone

Greetings from a very sleep deprived and bugged out Sally.

Today is an ettiquette lesson from yours truly.

Telephone Manners. And by telephone, you nkow I mean cell phone, smart phone, i phone...etc.

Maybe the following rules don't apply to you and it's not something you care about BUT if you wanna stay connected with me? Play ball.

Rules (in no particular order)
1.) Don't text a phone conversation: Just dont. I dont want to get 5 texts from you, start to reply after the first one and then you bombard me and interupt with 4 more texts. Pick up the damn phone, make it a 5 minute convo (for those of you who hate talking on the phone).

2.) Don't send 10 one word texts: Okay so i totally get that sometimes your phone will send a text before you meant for it to. Shit happens. Totally legit. BUT.When it starts being like this:
"Hey."
"Sally"
"Whatsup?"
"Haven't talked to you in a while."
"Just thinkin bout you."
"Hope all is well."
"Let me know if you wanna hangout smetime"
"sometime*"
"Miss you!"
":)"
LEARN TO STRING A FUCKING SENTENCE TOGETHER GAHHHHHHHHHH.

3.) Don't text me something juicy and then not pick up the call when the person calls you back immediately after you sent it unless you reallllllly can't.
Ex: "Got my pregnancy test results. OMG FML!!!"

4.) ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY DO NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT GLOSS OVER A TEXT LIKE YOU AINT GOT IT AND NOT ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
Phone offender (is person B):
Saturday
A: "What are you up to tonight?"
B: (no response)
A: "hellloooo?"
B: (No response)
A: "ok...maybe another time..."
Sunday
B: "OMG Remember that time at the beach with that crazy homeless person? i thought i saw the same person yesterday!"

T R I F L I N'

If you have plans or don't wanna see person A for whatever reason, just fucking say so. Or follow example below:

Proper way to handle the sitch:
Saturday
A: "What are you up to tonight?"
B: (no response)
A: "hellloooo?"
B: (No response)
A: "ok...maybe another time..."
Sunday
B: "Ahhh sorry I didn't hit you back last night! I feel asleep b/c im lame and old..."

5.) If you push reject...the person on the other end is gonna know. Period. End of story. I'm sorry but let's not even pretend like we don't know. This is breakdown for my clueless (which hopefully is none of you...!)
-Phone goes straight to vm--they're in a shitty area with no reception or their phone is off/died.
-Phone rings and rings and rings and then voicemail: either theey legitly missed your call or are too polite to reject *Note: if on a business call/phone interview or breaking up, TOTALLY acceptable to hit reject
-Phone rings 2-3 times and then rolls to vm: My friend, you have been DENIED! Don't take it personally. It could be for any given reason like the few i mentioned above.
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I was gonna keep going but as I mentioned earlier (or at least i think i did) i'm sleep deprived and exhausted. Possible TBD but i think i've hit some main points.

Gnite!!