Monday, June 20, 2011


I'm freaking out. I can't believe I'm still freaking out. Not in a bad way and not in a good way--just a general laskdjflsakdjfalskdjfsadkjf FML.

It's finally come to this. Later than sooner but isn't that how it always goes?

I'm about to finally have another 'final' talk with someone. Someone who probably doesn't appreciate that i'm throwing out our biznass into cyberland like this. But i can't function right now and what does a sally do best under pressure? Bitch, smoke, write. In that order.

I love this person genuinely and sincerely and fiercely. But at some point, as my big bro said earlier--somethings gotta give. I think i've bounced my thoughts off of far more people than I intended to (but not too many) and I've come to the epiphany that maybe i kept asking around b/c i didn't know if i was just crazy or the person i talked to was just crazy or what.

I'm scared outta my mind but more anxious and determined. Everything will be fine and my predicition will probably be spot on:
1. I will freak out and almost back out
2. I'll follow through
3. It won't be poorly received b/c i know the person on the other end, despite his worst days and poorest of wording, will not annihilate me when it comes to things like this. Or we would've been done LONNNNG ago.
4. A round of I told you so's (REALLY not looking forward to that) along with passive aggressive ways of telling me I wasted my time
5. I'll feel better but still kinda be miserable only at this point i've talked it into the ground and then some that people I will not verbalize it b/c i dont feel like anyone understands.

Wish me luck. I'll need it.