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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Just Want Your Extra Time and Your....Kiss

**Sally Socialite's brain is on hiatus until then: Blast from the Past blogs:**

Monday, December 03, 2007 :
Thursday I got a little more than wasted. It was *NOT* pretty and I do apologize to anyone who had to be in a 20 mile radius of me because there's a good chance that I
1.) Swung my arms around you and proclaimed to everyone that "I LOVE THIS GIRL/GUY! HE/SHE IS COOL AS SHIT!" and really meant it.
2.) Told you some inane story. I dont remember telling any stories but it apparently have happened.
3.) I may have tried to include you in my dance/singing party and if you refused to participate I'd said "You know what? You're pretty fuckin' boring. You're lucky you're sexy or this friendship wouldn't work. Ahhh it would. im kidding. IM KIDDING!"
4.) I may have broken your ear drums shrieking with laughter or yelling in general. Esp "Stop fuckin' trying to gang bang me!" as i yelled to 3 groups of guys. Eek.
5.) Slurred speech. "ifffuggin canned rive butssssss oon!" = i fuckin' cant drive but soon!
*Cringes*
I have serious drinkers remorse. But particulary b/c i ended up making out with several guys...that I didnt know and couldn't pick out from a crowd. And to those boys and many others (def not all!!! mmm def not all hahah) read this list and follow the rules!
I. Thou shall not use tongue as a blender
-Tongue in mouth and then it goes all over the place without rhyme or reason and just ends up uncomfortable and sloppy. Thanks but i'd rather NOT have my tongue pureed.

II. Thou shal not try to digest partner
-Sometimes they'll stick their tongue so far down my throat and mash their face into mine that i'm parallel to the ground. Please. Don't try to inhale me/digest me. It's so not becoming...

III. Thou shall not attempt to be Mike Tyson.
-Biting of the lip should only be done by people who actually know how to execute it properly. This guy kept trying to do that and

IV. Thou shall not make out with Cousin It.
-If you're trying to kiss my neck then go for it. If my hair is in the way the fuckin' move it or wait for me to move it instead of just going for it. If not, I end up with wet, soaking spit stained hair hitting me against my neck which decreases your chances by a million and Then you've just got a mouthful of hair.

V. Thou shall not try to do too many things at once.
-This one kid try to hold my face while kissing me, move his tongue around, bit my lip, and do something with my hair all at once. And then he kept repeating the cycle! I was like okk that's enough.

VI. Thou shall not let the tongue get out of control.
-Your tongue should not be used as a blender (as noted in the first 'shall not') but it also should resemble a hose of a vacuum cleaner that's gone crazy, a dead fish, a sword fight/hockey game, washing machine cycle...

VII. Thou shall not lather, rinse, repeat.
-Meaning dont do the same shit over and over again. It gets old no matter how hot you are.

VIII. Thou shall not talk too much whilst kissing.
-You kiss me. You ask me a random question (what's your name? what are you doing later? Do you have a boyfriend?) and before i can answer you already kiss me again. Or when I respond you keep kissing me so the answer gets all chopped up. "It....s...Sal...ly..." It's awkward and you dont actually care or will remember soooo...

IX.

X.

I leave the last two blank for you guys to fill in. It's not just guys that break this thou shall nots so dont get in all my face guys or send me hostile messages b/c I imagine that it can be this way for girls too. I haven't really made out with any girls before soo.. (Does Thurs count? I hope not. b/c i was caught of guard and pinned to the ground!)

Any how, I'm gonna get going here. But kisses to all! (Following the thou shall nots of course...haha)