Friday, February 6, 2009

"Don't be Cruelle" (Cruel)

(Family Guy reference. As you know, I relate everything to family guy but not in that frat boy kinda way. Um no offense to frat boys as many are my friends hahah love you boys!)

What's being cruel? This whole sleep thing. I'm exhausted. I have been for the past few hours. I tried but no completion (that's what she said! hahah maybe i am a fratster...)

So what's on my mind. Famous question.

There's so much swirling around I have no idea where to begin.

I guess here starts the bitching fest.

1.) So much to do, so little time: Yeah and someone should also add, so little funds...! I love being a socialite. Really and truly. It's fun knowing lots of people and knowing that you can flip open your phone or open an empty email to start to write to someone and know that you can scroll through names and names of people. Some closer to me than others but that's definitely not a personal thing. It's just how it goes in life the same way I'm not close to even some of you--which I don't take personally either.

But back to my original point, there's so many of you I wanna hang out and chill with or party or whatever but I am only one person and I'm sure many people will find it hard to believe (even if they do) 1. I dont really like drinking at all to the point where if prohibition came back, I doubt I'd even care or notice. 2. I may be a socialite but damn, I do not have Paris Hilton's bank account. So even if it's just getting coffee or dinner or going out out one night--it's still adds up when people come at you with the "happy hour sally!" or "it's my birthday!" or "i haven't seen you in forever--let's catch up!" All totally legit but all costly. 3. I'm a rather independent creature and love nothing more than to have a 5 stay at home nights perfectly contently not talking to anyone. I talk to people all day everyday that I just like my own time/space to do my own thing.

The problem? I have guilt issues saying no and I think some people think I'm fake b/c i am notorious for going to 5 parties in one night and spending what i call the "curtosy hour or half hour" I'm not fake but I'm just trying to see as many people as possible so I dont have to do one on ones witheverone.

I love everyone but I am but one Sally who is tired, broke, likes to be independent/on her own with a guilt complex and hate sounding like I'm conceited or something. Many people tease me by imitating me by saying "ohhh i'm so pretty and popular. my life is so hard. People want to be around me and everyone wants to be my friend but i just dont have the time..." That's NOT me and actually legitlly gripes me. grrrrrr

2.) Crazy Little Thing Called Love: I've been the only singleton in my circle of friends for like ever. And then in my famliy. And then it branched out to work. I dont want to be in a couple just to be in a couple and i certainly don't want to turn into one those couples (sorry this is directed at most of you) who do everything together and act like they will simply die or freak out if the other half is not involved. Gimme a break already! It's awful to admit but I wish I were in a couple just to show others how you can balance love and life without making your love your life and kicking your friends to the backburner esp if they have a busy schedule. Then there are my few single friends who are on the opposite side of the spectrum and they just won't shutttt the fuuuuuckkkk uppppp about thier 'bad luck' or this guy/girl that they're totally crushing and how so and so texted them/wrote on their wall/told a mutual friend ____. I'm like ohhhhhh my gosh. You're not pathetic BECAUSE you're single. You're pathetic AND single. Knock it off!

It's the next day and I'm reading what I wrote. Man I get cranky when I don't get a lot of sleep! LoL the funny thing is I'm still not backing down completely from my arguments and im fully rested. Is that bad? Hm...