It's Family Tradition

"We Are the World" caused quite the controversy when I had dinner with my parents and my older sister.

Since the song is so contemporary and relevant...

I don't know how we got started on it but the next thing I know, one minute I'm twirling my spaghetti around my fork and then the next I'm yelling at my mom for not liking Bruce Springsteen. I don't mind that she doesn't like Kenny Rogers b/c she swears he's a racist. (And she used to be his biggest fan. I'm not sure what her beef with him exactly is but she swears he's a racist...) And I'm only slightly miffed that she doesn't know who Kenny Loggins is until i sang footloose.

My older sister is trying to remember the part after "There's a choice we're making, we're saving our own lives....you and me...WTF is that part before fucking...I can't remember! It's a choice we're making..."

My dad is trying to stop my argument with my mom and me...

Mom: I HATE him.
Me: Bruce Springsteen?
Mom: Yes. I didn't watch the superbowl half time b/c i don't like him.
Me: You don't like "The Boss"???
Mom: No, I said I don't like Bruce Springsteen.
Me: He IS the boss. You hate the boss. I can't believe it! YOU hate the boss.
Mom: I don't hate your boss! I'm sure Erick is a very nice man. You said he was. And you said his wife was very nice too.
Me: (pause) Mom no! I'm not talking about MY boss. I'm talking about THE boss.
Mom:...God?
Me: NO MOM. THE BOSS.
Mom: WHO IS THE BOSS?
Me: BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
Dad: I remember the show "Who's the boss" Tony! Angela! Right?
Older sister: "so lets start givin...theres a choice we're making...UGH! what are the words?"
Me: BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN IS THE BOSS. THEY CALL HIM THE BOSS.
Mom: What's he the boss of?
Me: I don't know!
Mom: Well that's a stupid nick name. He's not even the boss of anything.
Me: Maybe he's the boss of the e street band.
Mom: Who's the E Street Band?
Me: his band i guess. or some band that plays with him.
Mom: So he's their boss?
Me: YES. YES MOM HES IS THEIR BOSS.
Mom: Don't use that tone of voice with me I just had a question!
Dad: There was no band in "Who's the Boss."

Older sis busy on iPhone looking up lyrics.
Dad wanders to smoke
Mom and i get in another fight about how to pronounce Lionel Richie.
(I'll save you the drama. It's really quite boring. just a shouting match of me going MOM NO. LI. as in LION. IN AS IN...IN. ULL as in..DULL. LIONEL. and her saying RYAN-ALL. Then dad cutting in to say "OH I get it. Ry-uhn-allllllllll. B/c making the "L" longer at the end of the name makes the imaginary R in the front of the name all better. They can nail the "L" sound at the end, so why not the beginning?? and how fucked up is it that she can say bruce springsteen but cant say lionel??)

And so i chat with my younger sis to remind her of our family's insanity and this is what i get.

SallySocialiteTM (10:53:19 PM): if it makes you feel any better, i fought with mom at dinner b/c she didn't know that bruce springsteen's nick name is "The boss"
SallySocialiteTM (10:53:20 PM): hahah
juliepak 01 (10:55:09 PM): hahaha. .. bruce springsteen...the director?
juliepak 01 (10:55:15 PM): no. the actor.
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:19 PM): SINGER!!!
juliepak 01 (10:55:24 PM): oooh. yeah. the singer!
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:24 PM): he sings
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:29 PM): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN IN THE USA
juliepak 01 (10:55:35 PM): i know i know now.
juliepak 01 (10:55:38 PM): curly hair?
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:40 PM): sorta
juliepak 01 (10:55:44 PM): old.
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:44 PM): looks like he needs a bath
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:47 PM): yes!
juliepak 01 (10:55:47 PM): yeah.
SallySocialiteTM (10:55:50 PM): hahahahah
juliepak 01 (10:55:54 PM): i know~ hahah. oops.
SallySocialiteTM (10:56:31 PM): im going to send you a story about what happened at dinner tonight
SallySocialiteTM (10:56:36 PM): reminder this is YOUR family
juliepak 01 (10:56:47 PM): please, don't remind me.
Send Message Failed. Message is too long.
Send Message Failed. Message is too long.
SallySocialiteTM (10:57:28 PM): youve got mail
juliepak 01 (11:00:44 PM): AHAHAHAHAHHAH!
juliepak 01 (11:01:07 PM): why am i not surprised....this is a classic pak family dinner convo.


Couldn't have said it better myself. This is so typical of my family.

....this is why we can never have company join us for dinner...