I'm Sick of Smiling...And So is My Jaw

Yep. That's about it.

Trying to Keep Up with You, But I Don't Know if I Can Do It...

#Life

Deep. I know.

OH!

Oh, Hi President Obama. Or POTUS if you prefer. For those of you who aren't hip to the term is just another word to add to the acronym/name mashing craze that's been invading society that stands for President of the United States.

FabulosiTi invited me to go with her to the rally at Centreville HS and while I'm not fully in support of either candidate, I think our president is an excellent speaker so i thought that it would definitely be interesting to check out.

We did a bday (hurray!) breakfast for fabulosiTi at Eggspectations (highly recommend) and made our way over to the high school. I was as worried as the next person that traffic and clusterfuck mania would be underway but it was actually extremely organized and therefore, no clusterfucks were had. Getting out of the place is a slightly different story but still, not too bad at all. You'd be surprised how far a smile gets you in life. You dont even have to be attractive and people for the most part WILL respond in a positive way. Unless they suck at life but takes many to make the world go round. Lifesuckers and all.

Waiting in line almost killed me since it was balls hot and while they had cold water for all the people in line (and almost cruely no portapotties...but apparenetly it's b/c the secret service said no to that and frankly, who wants to argue with them? Not me!), they definitely lacked in the entertainment part. Granted there was a nutjob running up and down the line screaming "FIRED UP!" and the correct response is "READY TO GO!" but with it being so hot and so many people in line not rally savvy (myself included) people either gave a half-hearted response or didn't know what to say. I did feel bad for the whackadoo so occassionally when she went by, I did shout back "Ready to Go!"

Until i got distracted by a sexy secret serviceman outside the building. A slightly older guy (mid 30s?) but still, HOT. And that's rare that you'll hear me just say that. Im usually not the kinda gal who will say something racy as such but dammit he was sexy. And the other agent inside was SUPPPPPPPPPPPER sexy also.

Wait, what was this blog about? Hahhaha

Oh yeah, lack of entertainment. I mean, seriously, aside from the Romney supporters protesting (note, please remember that they had every right to--it's their first right actually! Freedom of speech and what not) and nutsack screaming 'fired up!" it was lackluster. Next time, we need a boombox. Maybe some LMFAO or something to get the crowd, for lack of better term, fired up and ready to go.

Once we got inside, it was another 1.5 hours before POTUS was scheduled to speak and let me just say, when the music arrived, i wish it hadn't. It was like this terrible music played by who i hope was NOT the white house dj. Republican party, democratic party, i just like to party but it was evident that this guy didn't otherwise he wouldn't have played such dreadful music. Why not a little Party in the USA per Miley? Fun and relevant! No such luck. I'm going to buy the president an iTunes gift card along with a playlist he should consider. The only decent song was Al Green's lets stay together but cmon people, it's a rally, not a wedding reception.

Things rolled along and people got up there and spoke (after one of the oddest renditions of the Star Spangled Banner I've ever heard which was sung by a woman who sounded like a man doing an impersonation of a whale), and then dat da DAAAAAAAAA! POTUS.

[side note: did you know that the national anthem at a rally is not the same as a national anthem at a sporting event? I learned that you do not shout "OH!" at the "Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave" part. Eep!]

Obama is a great speaker from what i've seen on TV and now i can say that in person he's just as captivating. Granted, i did differ with him on several issues (healthcare...immigration...) but that aside, he's darn good at giving a speech. And I must say it was quite nice that he didn't shit talk Romney. Very respectable.

He turned to look at my section and my heart sank. POTUS looks stressed out! Or sick! Or like he needs a nap. I really did wish I had some b-vitamins or a banana or something for him but no such luck. And frankly, I'm not sure the secret service would much appreciate it.

While he didn't change my mind about issues at the rally, he did reaffirm my opinion that he does seem like a nice guy who's trying to do the right thing. Or at least what he thinks is the right thing, even if it isn't so to many of us.

Agree with him, dont agree with him--feel how you may but i'll say this, no one person will make EVERYONE or even the vast majority happy. Regardless of who you support, always be respectful.

I Love Rock -N- Roll

I do. I really love me some rock. I saw a few documentaries on hulu over the weekend--one on the Beatles (which was eh, okay), Queen (very good), and Led Zeppelin (also an eh okay documentary). While many of you will argue the "rockness" of The Used (yes, a bit more pop punk/pop rock than like rock rock in my humble opinion), I did go to their concert. They played a great set.

Who didn't play a great set?

THEIR OPENING BANDS.

It's not that they weren't talented. The fundamental problem with them is that they were CHICK rockers. NO. NO NO NO NONO NO.

I don't know WHY i oppose women in rock but i just do. I think the only one i can say that i like is Janis Joplin. Everyone else....whatever. I dont know what it is about chick rockers that put me on tilt but i am NOT a fan. They ruin everything. Just like olives.

The first band was Stars in Stereo or something and Dr Phil's son is a guitarist in it and whatever. Anyways. They sounded like Paramore and RUINED "closer" by nine inch nails. Not that i even love that song or anything but it was the principle. The singer kept trying to 'sexy' dance and 'play' her gittered guitar (i'm not gonna lie, it was super cute) BUT the bitch didn't even play it! She would 'play' two chords and then start her 'sexy' dance which basically looked like Axl Rose's crab walk dance gone wrong.

And then there was Dead Sara and that girl had a really good voice but the fact that it was a rock thing made me cringe. They also did a cover at the end of their set and they did a cover of Rage Against the Machine, "Killing in the Name of" and i think that's when i lost my shit and started booing and Lauren grabbed my arm and pulled me outside before, as a I quote "We got the shit beat out of us."[Which i highly disagree with given that the crowd was mostly unwashed heavy girls who i could've easily out run.]

In case i haven't made it painfully clear I just dont like women in rock. And most of them who think they're in 'rock' are really just 'edgy' pop singers, lets be completely honest. People tried to sway me by naming female rockers that they thought would make me go 'ohhhhhh ok.' (i.e. Debbie Harry, Joan Jett, Pat Benetar etc) but instead i was like no no no and pop pop pop. NOT ROCK. NOT. ROCK.

Honestly, women should stay within pop, country and R&B. A few of you can be rappers but no fucking way in rock. Not in my world anyways.

Anyways! That's it for me setting women back 500 years. Happy Monday!

Rather Waste My Time With You

I'm not just quoting The Used b/c I went to their concert the other night (i'll def have to put my review up there on that whole thing later.)

I don't know exactly what came over me but I realized the other day that I've been kinda a shitty friend latey but completely unintentionally. And while I realize some of the time it's been to people I don't completely care about all that much anymore, I also realized it IS the people I care about the most too.

I've forgotten birthdays. I've forgotten to go to things I promised I would. I never remember to text back. I've flipped out at one particular friend even though they didn't deserve it. (Though I did apologize and said person was more than forgiving, I still feel like a first class asshole.)

I'd like to blame early on-set dementia for it but that's simply not true. It's just because I'm an asshole who has a hard time remembering stuff now.

This weekend I'm going to dedicate as much time as I can to trying to right my wrongs. Not sure why I felt the need to publicize it and yes, this is again another friend related blog, but i dont know.. felt right. Not to mention it's thunderstorming AGAIN for the 3rd time tonight and i'm TERRIFIED of storms so I've got some time on my hands.

Ok enough of this. I'm going to go get my business done! Sally shall not sucketh at being a friend anymore. I'm going to find ways to show my love to some friends I've been not so great with (again UNINTENTIONALLY) and hopefully all will be well. I'd rather waste my time with them than with some fakies and sucktards that i've come across.

And i think i'm going to start a diff kinda blog that Jones suggested I start (well it's a book actually but i'm going to start off with a blog). Very excited and i'll keep you all posted!

That's Just the Way It Is

Who fell of the blog every day wagon? This girl right here. OH WELL.

Moving along, friendships have been on my mind today. I didn't wake up thinking about it. More like, I was talking to someone today who's going through a rough patch with 2 of her friends and each of the 2 friends want to have 'a talk' with her. Yikes. Talk about sentences in your life you can do with out--"We need to talk" definitely tops the list. In theory, it's good. It lets people vent and actually say to the person's face what they feel. Good. People at the end of the conversation then feel better in the moment but then when you actually think about it, it's not really that great and it's almost like now there are more boundaries and confusion than when the conversation started. Bad.

But like everything in life, it depends on each situation.

Anyways, it reminded me of a falling out I had with 2 friends of mine and I was the odd girl out. I woke up to a 16 page email about how the girl thought I was a terrible and to quote her "toxic" and "fake" person. Since this was the first thing I got in the morning on little sleep after I had a huge falling out with someone I was interested at the time (who also happened to be my coworker..yayyyyy), it was too much for me to handle and I burst into tears. Looking back, I wish I never wasted one tear on the situation. Luckily by the time I got a 10 page email followup, I didn't cry. I rolled my eyes. I agreed to meet this person for coffee to 'air things out' and I thought we came to an understanding after the conversation. We didn't. The other girl in the situation happened to be sisters with the girl who sent said emails and we also had 'a talk.' I'll spare you the drama, we're not friends anymore. And I couldn't be happier. And not even in that bitchy "look at me now bitches" way but in a, it really wasn't meant to be sort of way. [and side note: the coworker i had a falling out with? closer than ever now vs the two girls i swore were like extra sisters. I used to use the sisters phrase generously with close friends but now i really only mean it about one. She knows who she is. And if she doesn't...it's YOU ASHLEY.]

It's weird because people always told me that your friend list will dwindle the older you get. I laughed b/c I was like uhh hello, i'm not Sally Socialite b/c i don't have the social skills to make and keep a relationship. My reputation is built on knowing lots of people and being nice/genuine to them.

But dammit all, these "people" ended up being right. I'm barely living up to my socialite name. I still chat with people old and new with ease but I'm MUUUUUUUUUUUUCH more choosy about doing it.

My one year at work is coming up tomorrow and instead of thinking about my achievements ::brushes shoulder's off:: I'm thinking about a girl I previously blogged about (http://sallysocialite.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-to-save-life.html) who I was supposed to meet up with and never did. Maybe I should've given that friendship more of a chance? I dont know. Now she's passed away and while it doesn't often bother me, it is lately. I know somethings wrong b/c anyone who knows me (or reads this blog) knows that I'm not one who's shy with talking things on loop or crying but I can't do it with this sitch. I'm not in denial...and yet I can't seem to come to terms that she passed away.

It's all like really weird. There's another friend I was super close with in college and even stayed with me over the summer last year and I really haven't her from her since. In fairness, I haven't reached out to her either. I'm actually annoyed by it all but haven't done anything about it either so how annoyed can I really be?

Then there are some more "A list" friends that I know are there because they were SOOOOOO good to me before but now I'm like why are they in my "A list"? Again, not meaning that in a bitchy way. Both people and situations with each person are so differnt but it seems my..'issue' for lack of better word is the same. They seem really self involved and have this new found 'self empowerment' which I normally am very supportive of and gravitate towards but something's not right. And do i say anyhting? Nope. Partly because I know I'm not perfect and partly because as I said earlier, 'having talks' sometimes just makes things worse but mostly because, I'm not sure I care if it does. Sounds callous but that's just the way it is. I dont see why I should have to make them realize they need to think about how they're coming off to me or the quality of their friendship, when I have quality friends who I may not talk to or see as often but show me it time and time again. One year is going through a rough patch with a friend but 3 years of questioning my friendships with them? A bit much. I can't be fake so I've steadily ignored and avoided calls and calling them because what's there to say? Still, as much as I hate to admit it, i do have love for said people so I guess I'll continue to play it by ear...

Let's end on a bright note, to those friends I dont reach out to enough or see as often as I should but have remained true, even if we're not very close, I feel really lucky to have you in my life and sorry to all for being that emolicious blog we all make fun of.


And normally I have a poignant and thoughtful quote or song to close it all out with but all i can think about is that damn Tupac song that i dont even like and he's not even rapping/singing the lyric but, here it is:
That's just the way it is//things will never be the same//that's just way it is...oh yeah.

That Funky Monkey

Actually, not so much a funky monkey as a dirty cunt monkey.

The old bitch (yes, of the GLUE IN YOUR SHOES WILL KILL EVERYONE) has officially downgraded herself in the Sally Pak burn book as dirty cunt monkey and will henceforth be known as DCM.

My iPod, Pingu, is currently in a coma and while I have the best doctors looking out for him (ok...2 coworkers and a former coworker), I'm forced to brave the gym sans iPod. Not as boring as I thought it would be since I stationed myself in front of a tv news screen and caught up with the world while an eldery man on the machine next to me sighed noisily every ten minutes or so followed by a headshake. I like to call him Mr. Ed given the horselike manner in which he excuted his sighs and headshakes.

Anyways, post work out, I hit the dry sauna per usual and felt naked without Pingu accompanying me. I hate being in public without my phone or iPod b/c it seems to give people the indication that I would love to speak with them about shoes and ships and ceiling wax, cabbages and kings... and basically other crazy/annoying shit. Or treat me as a personal clock, GPS or tour guide.

Whatever, anyways I thought i was in the clear with DCM until i saw her ugly melted candle of a face make an appearance. FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK MY LIFE. I desperately looked around for other Koreans she could speak to but only 2 people in there was 1.) a Filipino girl with an iPod (lucky bitch) and a towel on her face and 2.) an elderly Jewish man (he was rockin' a star of David) I like to call Horton, and has so much hair in his ear i don't think Horton heard a Whoo or anything else.

She doesn't say anything at first but I'm no fool so i turned my back to her and stretched and closed my eyes.

Yeah no such luck.

(all in Korean)
DCM: Miss? YOUNG Miss?
Me: *tersley* What.
DCM: You have some ugly skin on your ugly legs. What is that?
Me: I have "psoriasis"(that word was in english. fucked if i know how to say it in korean) *struggling to keep my voice neutral*
DCM: Just on the legs?
Me: Yep.
DCM: It's b/c you wear shoes in the sauna.

I snap around so suddenly that even Horton heard through his scrub brush ears and looked nervous.

Me: Please stop talking. I dont want to talk to an old crazy lady like you.
DCM: You wear SHOES in the SAUNA. That's why you have UGLY SKIN ON UGLY LEGS.

Horton's looking pretttty perplexed and keeps playing with his star of David, but doesn't seem to look away.

I actually didn't say anything for once in my life. I sighed much like Mr. Ed.

DCM: Hello? (she flips to english) You wear shoes in sauna. That's why you have UGLY SKIN. BECAUSE. YOU WEAR THE SHOES IN THE SAUNA.

I grip the towel that I'm sitting on and Horton looks like he's about to shit a brick.

Filipina decided to exit, but i'm not sure that was conversation related.

Me: [korean] It's BETTER THAN WEARING FLIP FLOPS B/C APPARENTLY THAT GIVES YOU UGLY FAT ON YOUR UGLY FACE AND YOUR UGLY BODY.

Horton's not a Korean-Jewish man so he has no idea what i said but he knows it wasn't nice. Horton may not hear a whoo but he's not a dumbass.

Horton finally stops looking terrified and actually looks at me sympathetically b/c he can see at this point I 1.) dont want to be spoken to 2.) obviously dont ENJOY having psoriasis or 'ugly legs' 3.) Just want this DCM to just leave me alone for fucks sake

He smiles kindly as he sees tears in my eyes and mutters for me to ignore her.

I smile back at him and blink back my tears. WTF, Sally Pak is a lot of things but a punk ass bitch being pushed around my Lumiere's great grandmother is NOT one of them.

I murmur back to him in a somewhat low tone that if she doesn't lay off I will smack her back to Sudan. Horton is confused and says he thought DCM and i were korean. I assured him that yes, we are but i was ready to hit her so hard that she would fly past the motherland and make another lap around and end up in a war ridden country where they hate women anyways. A transcontinental bitch slap if you will.

[well i said all of that minus the last sentence. too bad. it's fucking brill.]


I'm not sure if Horton knew if i was kidding or not (neither did i frankly) and calmly said that i didn't wanna do that or at least i shouldn't and to just ignore her. Don't be as immature as she is. Feel sorry for her. Pray for her! then leaves.


DCM is feeling QUITE left out at this point and interrupts with HMMMMMMM? You're speaking but i can't hear you.

I pick up my towel and without looking at her walk off. Middle finger in the air (sorry horton--it's not that i'm immature. it's that i'm one pissed bitch).

Mazel!