I get nervous everytime I have a frank and honest blog because of the backlash I get but you know what? It's my damn blog so here I go!
It's ridiculous how self centered everyone is and I'm pretty appalled and to a larger extent annoyed by it. I understand to some extent it's human nature and that's just how it is but i can't help but wonder why. Obviously as human being we're all selfish b/c at the end of the day, who have we got? Us. Right. Got it. But there's an overwhelming type of people that I'm genuinely concerned and bewildered by.
I know it must be like, well what (and more specifically WHO) sparked this?
Nothing actually. I've been trying write my book and came across a writers block so decided to take a step back to examining people in general and found that despite my wide spectrum of friends and acquatinces have the following thing in common.
EVERYONE seems to think the following about themselves:
-Too nice
-Hates drama
-Hopeless in relationships
-Perfect for a reality show
-A beach person
-Unhappy in their job
-A great listener/the one people go to their problems with/always there for people
-A hilarious/flirtatious drunk
-A people person
-Hates everyone
-Is an optimist
-So fat
-Okay looking/averagely attractive
None of these qualities are unique, I'm sorry to say. None. Accept it.
I struggle b/c I'm not sure if it's something that I'm pissed that I know so many people like this or that I can't seem to understand the rational behind it.
Like, I wonder why everyone has the need to be numero uno in life in general and always in competition with their own friends, even if it's not intentional. Maybe competition isn't the right word but trying to stand out. Religiously checking the number of friends they have on facebook, adding people you met once and will probably never speak to again, trying to think of a saucy, clever, funny, attention grabbing status message on facebook, gchat etc, taking pics and posting them where everyone looks like they're friends and having a greeat time when actually the night was either horribly boring or full of drama rama.
I can't say I've never done any of this before but I can say I definitely believe that there's a category of people who almost strategically do this and it's very...well i wanna say pathetic but given that these are my friends i'm talking about...mystifying? LOL i dont know.
I find solace in people who are rarely on or don't own a social networking sites, show a deeper understanding and appreciation for life, and have more than a shread of intelligence. All relative and subjective, I realize.
Sometimes I look at these things and can see how people do it or say things for a light hearted fun side or speak for dramatic effect but dont actually takethe topic all that seriously. I know I do. Sometimes I roll my eyes and want to ship myself to a deserted island b/c I find people too selfish, self involved and way too dependent on other people/social media (she said in her blog haha i know). And other times, like now, I genuinely feel sorry for people like this. And it's not the kind of I'm sorry where you're clearing being condescending but I really do feel sorry to these kinds of people. I wonder...what happened to you to make you like this? And why can't you stop?
Long story short, no one's special, everyone's special. Get over it.
....love youuuuuuuuuu....hahahaha
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I wish I Was Special...So F***in SPECIALLLL
f-a-b-o-lo-us holla back
Fatima: lol
omgosh
its like...drama...funny random thing...drama...funny random thing
me: hahahaha
you know why that is?
Sent at 12:04 AM on Tuesday
me: my brain is like a robot that someone poured water on with the squiggle lines and steam all around it
man. Ti, you summed me up in 3 words
if someone ever asks me to describe myself in 3 words i will say
"Funny. Random. Drama."
--
Any wonder i love this girl?
Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing. I'm a bitch
me: people call me sassy sally. is that a nice way of saying i'm bitchy? what's the difference b/w sassy and bitchy?
Justin: sassy is passive aggressive bitchy. the kinda girl who says something bitchy inside a joke. you'd say something like 'she looks great. didn't realize that the hippo look was in but she's workin it!' bitchy is the girl who says something bitchy and adds 'lol' at the end
me: well then arent THEY passive aggresive for tell me i'm bitchy in a passive way?
Justin: ur not bitchy. u are sassy. but more than that... you're neurotic.
me: yeah well your a waste of sperm and egg. lol. hows that for bitchy?
Monday, March 29, 2010
No Matter What the Crisis is...doin' ya thing
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Freedoooooooooom, Freeeeeeeedommmmm
I think people should have the RIGHT to CHOOSE. If you wanna keep the kid do it but if you dont wanna, you dont have to! It's a topic I'm very passionate about so I wont get into it. But I did think of my prochoice license plate:
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The Rainbow Connection
*Names omitted or changed to respect privacy of people involved*
Back home from an engagement party. Two of my girls are getting married and yes, to each other. I know, you're thinking 'oh so it was an enGAYgement party.' To which i say, yes and that's not terribly clever, though accurate.
It was a fun silly night and naturally b/c i'm Sally i made a dummy out of myself in front of people i dont know.
Person:"And this is Forty Spice Hummus."
Me: *leaning in closer to hear* "Did you say Sporty Spice hummus? Like really?"
Person: "Er no. FORTY spice. Not Sporty..."
Oy. And one of the people i met before only once, he was there hosting and when i met HIM i didn't realize people were in the living room when i came into the apt and said very loudly and quite annoyed "OMG Gum is like totally confusing! I've been trying to open the pack since i drove over and can you help me? GUM IS SO CONFUSING and.. oh...hello people i dont know..."
Oops.
Moving along, while it was a fun night, there was something very serious and very disturbing to me that i didn't think about until they brought it up.
When we were going around the room each giving speeches to the engaged girls, I felt very humbled and disturbed by the two gay men's speech. They both mentioned how proud they were of the girls for doing this and how excited they were to finally have the right to do it and are now taking advantage of it.
Humbled because I'm straight and the right to be married has been around like forever and I never have to think about having the right to do just that whereas with gay marriage it is now slowly starting to be accepted in certain areas of the country.
Disturbed because I didn't realize how many people were anti-gay. Not just here but like all over the world. One of the guys told me that in Uganda, they will literally hang you if you are gay or know someone who is. Um what?!!?!?!?!?! That's crazyness!
I view homosexuality, queerness, transness--any derivatives of it-- the same way as I view race, creed, physical appearance, socioeconomicness...etc. And that is, WHO THE HELL CARES? It's really upsetting to find out that many people do. It's quite disgusting actually.
I know as a straight person I shouldn't be so fired up about this but i am because it's a human right and we're all humans soooooo...what's the problem?
Like my boy Jason Mraz says "It's our God forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved..."
It's like homosexuality is the new racism.
Like can someone help me understand? I sincerely don't get it. If it's a religious reason then im going to roll my eyes at you for thinking that even counts as an argument. I'm proud Christian and the God I believe in tells me that i should love like everyone. I don't and i know i should but it's not because of what they look like, how much money they make or who they sleep with (unless they's sleeping with my mans. Then we's gonna have a problem..) Like seriously though. Dammit, if i'm going to hate you, it's going to be b/c you're a terrible person. Not because you prefer the magic carpet ride over the seesaw or the seesaw over the magic carpet ride. Whatever floats your boat homesicle. Me? I like to ride the seesaw. bahahah ok ok tmi.
But yeah. Like i saw this new VH1 show called "TRANSform Me" which is run by 3 trannies and the girl they were making over from Alabama had this stank look on her face when the girls arrived at her door. I guess she hasn't had much exposure to those kind of people (i know alabama...) but she didn't have to be such a frigid bitch. That's like being mean to someone b/c they're ugly or fat or a certain race--like who the fuck cares?! It's something engrained in them since birth or something they discover. Cool. Now move along. Okay so to her credit at the end when they made her look pretty, she changed her attitude a bit but it was really unnecessary to begin with.
I was also pretty surprised at Oprah when she had Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi on her show and asked them why they felt the need to get married. I'm like, you never asked a straight couple that question...
Do people think it's airborne and going to kill you?
Like i dont get it and probably never will.
I'm okay with that.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Blah, Blah, Blah
3:29 PM me: I dont much like that ke$sha is making more money than all of us combined.
If she's going to make money singing about jack daniels and no pants, im going to change my name to $ally and sing about being topless and vodka. i'll start my tour in russia.
3:36 PM Fatima: LOL LOL. That and ke$ha isn't really singing
and she's not really rapping
and her voice sounds like she's restrainign it
me: she's pdiddying
Fatima: like she has to to go to the bathroom
me: she did wake up feeling like him
Fatima: no hoke
*joke
me: hahah this is true
i wonder what talentless black man i should wake up feeling like
ray jay, i suppose.