Wednesday, November 17, 2010

That's Not My Name

What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.

Sorry Juliet, but a name means soooooooooooo much. And as a girl named Sally, I must say it sucks but I cant even get mad b/c judging someone by their name makes total sense.

Like today, I was talking to my favorite at work Erine (pronounced Aaron...not Ernie as is Bert haha) and we were talking about this lady Bertha. I mean for cryin' out loud, her name is Bertha. The poor thing! Unless she's smoking hot (which is very doubtful), she doesn't stand a chance in this world! And if she is smokin' hot, she probably has enough damn sense to go by a middle name or a nick name.

Then some how Nigel and I were talking about names. I wont disclose Nigel's last name since i dont like to throw people out there like that on an internete blog but really, if you do know his last name and w/o knowing what he looks like, it seems very british white guy.

Nigel is black and from louisiana.

He was saying how people screw up his name and I believe his exact words were "I know they think cuz they see me and i'm black that my name will kinda sound like THAT WORD but I'm like dont say it man. It's nigel. Not Niggle. I know you wanna call me that..."

So vastly inappropriate. So incredibly hysterical!

But yeah back to my original point, I'm totally jealous b/c I dont have a sexy name. Seriously, my name is Sally. Chances are you think of an old crusty lady who has a cat and a candy dish and a big crocheted doylie on her couch. You dont think of the short fiesty Korean girl who's a hooker with a heart of gold aka me. And you certainly dont think of a bombshell.

Nigel asked what constitues a hot girl name and I started out by saying what's NOT a hot girl name. Gertrude. Bertha (obviously). Sally.

No guy has ever been like "Sally, yeah she's fuckin' hot"

They're more likely to say "Sally. Yeah she plays bridge with my Grandma"

I'm not fishing for compliments or being self depricating. I've learned over time to really like my name. Esp since (for those of you who know) it goes nicely with my last name\e. I think that's why my best friends or people who know me pretty well call me by my full name. I love it! It cracks me up.

Hot girl names, Nigel and I agreed on include most foreign names (like Natalia...not so much for Asian names sorry to report but as an Asian i can say i agree. The name "Phung" just doesnt cute...), K/Crystals, Valeries, Heathers, Hayley, Chloe etc.

Hot guy names are your Kyles, Justins, Marks, Ryans, etc.
Not hot guy names are the Eugenes, Forrest, Cledus, Max's of the world. (Now that i've said that, my future husband's name is going to be Eugene Forrest Max the 3rd...)

Admittedly, there are some names that are hard to categorize (even the ones mentioned above) b/c part of human nature is to associate names with people who you know and may not like and that makes you go ewww gross me out! B/c someone with that name is some whore you dont like or some douchebag you knew. I get it.

The other part of the name thing that kills me are the parents i want to SLAP b/c they should know better than to name their kid a certain first name KNOWING what their last name is.

Michael Jackson (went to middle school with a guy with that name. poor guy)
John Johnson (Really? You dont have to be creative or off the wall like Xavier or Sky but you couldnt think of anything better than John knowing damn well that his last name is johnson??)
Ben Dover ( i mean really. who are your parents? Bevis and Butthead??)

And so on and so forth.

So when you guys start getting preggo, may it be on purpose or OOPSIE, think it through before you legalize it.