Somebody to Love

Lord in heaven! I just checked out match.com (didn't actually sign up. just creeped around to see what the norms were) and dear God in Heaven i'm in a world of trouble. I was considering joining the craze (everyone i know who's single is all about match and grouper) for various reasons: plain curiosity of what it's like/what's out there, needing to shake things up in my world and I had intentions of possibly joining but now those intentions are almost in my rear view mirror after seeing what I saw. I'm not going to dog on the guys b/c they're on there too with the same intentions I'm sure. Find somebody to love and hopefully loves them back (well and hopefully not just there for a booty call. i'm pretty sure that's what Tinder and OK Cupid are for).

It was like a giant conglomerate of people who were not my type, whether it was looks or what they wrote in their profile and in all fairness, I am absolutely not their type either.

And the cliches ahhhhhhhhhhhh the cliches. EVERYONE is a nerd at heart and EVERYONE likes going out but also quiet nights in and EVERYONE likes trying new things and likes all kinds of musics and running and puppies and their families blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah.

And the way I am judging these people is the same way I know I'm going to be judged to which only sky rockets my anxiety to an unreal level. It's ridiculous.

I'm not the kind of person who can date more than one person at a time. I'm absolutely not against it--in fact I wish I could. I feel like I'm more of the date one person at a time thing. Sure it will take a lot longer to find the right  one but it's just a comfort thing I guess.

What in ball sack am I going to do?

If I do move forward, I will likely send my closest friends my username password and let them run the show and just show up for said date here and there. I feel like that would be super awesome and convenient and smart but then it's not building the rapport I ought to be.

And I hit up my younger sister and just shared with her the same things I just did and while she sympathized with a lot, she also said "stop looking at the negative things before anything's even happened yet!"

Fair.

....but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop.

Maybe I'll hit up the creepy old guy from eharmony and see if he has any better prospects for me.