Here in this Diary

Ok EPIC FAIL. I'm not capable of blogging EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I just can't do it. I don't always have access to my computer (i.e. i'm not at home 24/7) and blogging via phone is going to take forever and you all know how much I like to talk.

Besides, any of you who read Bridget Jones' Diary know that bitch didn't write in her diary every day either!

Wha-ha-happened these past few days. I don't even remember... I did see the biatch in the dry sauna again. You know "OB." I may have left our battleground triumphantly but let's face it, it was mostly a front. I was ready to battle her out again but as I tip toed to the sauna and peered in I knew I wasn't as badass as I led on. Badasses dont tip toe in. They walk in there like oh hi i run this bitch. WHAT.

I peeked in and didn't see her so I felt my shoulders relax. As I got closer I realized it WAS her. I'm just not in the mood to fight so I [not so] bravely closed my eyes and sat against a wall far from her. Or at least I'd like to think it was far. She was lying in the middle so... Anyways, she didn't see me and I pretended not to see her aka kept my eyes closed. Unfortunately all I wanted to do was stretch out (um hi, have you been on an eliptical set to a resistance of 20 for 45 minutes? Ouch. Well not so much as ouch as it is wanting to stretch it on out. But I would need to open my eyes for that and it just wasn't happening. I opened one eye warily and saw OB standing and staring STRAIGHT. AT. ME. She wanted to say something but I quickly closed that eye. Fail for both of us. She didn't get to talk and I was being passive aggressive.

She walked out and I stretched freely and now that my eyes were open, the sauna was filled with people wearing "SHOES WITH GLUE THAT IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE." What now biatch? I laughed to myself particuarly when OB returned and saw all of us in there with our death shoes on. She started to say something to me but this time I was less polite, kept my headphones on and walked out. See biatch!

Side note but totes relevant (aside from the fact that i hate that i openly use the word 'totes') It's Mardi Gras today and myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how things have changed. Here I am freshly showered blogging at 10pm about a fight with a 90 year old when just a few years ago, I'd be on my way to a bar that was doing something kitchy for Mardi Gras (ie when I celebrated Bacardi Gras circa 2007).

Pathetic.