I Can See Us Dying...Are We?

No, I'm not a prophet and I dont actually see people dying ahead of time or anything like that (though I think there's a tv show or movie out there with a premise of just that.) So. I'm all bent out of shape b/c I feel like I might lose one of my BFFs one day and I'm vastly paranoid and unhappy about it. I've been warned all around from the general public that once either myself or this BFF of mine is in a relationship, our friendship is game over. I refuse to believe it. REFUSE! B/c it just doesn't make sense. I have plenty of close guy friends who are in relationships and we never stopped talking or not hang out as much as we used to. If we don't talk or hang out as much as we used to, then it's b/c we both have crazy schedules that aren't compatible and not because of anyone's relationship status. Me and the BFF in question have consistently been just friends, in my humble opinion so the notion that we're not going to be friends anymore is absurd and really scary b/c I assume he feels the same way but I dont actually know. And bringing it up pre-emptively just adds to the file of Sally is possibly the most paranoid person alive file. I guess I just dont understand why if we've been friends all along, why a relationship status on either of our end would kill our friendship. I dont much like that at all. And like I keep saying, it doesn't make sense! I've asked girls, guys, straight, gay, almost all races and they all keep beating into my head that I live in la la land with gummy bears and puppies but the real world says NO. You can't still be friends. And if we DO continue being friends that there will have to be a grace period to show no disrespect to the other's bf/gf. Like wtf ?? What ettiquette book dictated this? I dont think that a friendship should be put on hold for anything. So confused!

Chain Chain Chaaaaiiinnn....

Ok. Technology has gotten out of control. And my next rant here is totally nerding it up and not even that technologically advanced but yeah. So. here i goes.. What's strongly becoming a huge annoyance is the CC/Reply All function on emails. At work, at home, etc--there are these HUGE chain of emails and I'm like WTF. No one told me I had to read the entire encyclopedia britannica to figure out what time to meet friends for dinner. I personally don't feel that I should have to have a table of contents to navigate through an email. I'm a girly as you get emotionally but when it comes to making a point, I think like a man--short, sweet and to the point. Otherwise i get overwhelmed. I totally get that CC-ing people is like totally necessary sometimes but the reply all KILLS me. Especially when someone sends out a "funny" forward to their friends and family (who I typically dont know) and the next thing I know there's this endless chain of "inside jokes"/people trying (and failing) to be funny from Uncle Joe or Jane Doe and there's always someone who feels the need to one up them. I'm like seriously? I dont know you people and even if i did, the forward was not funny and your comments are not funny so can we just like, let it die? MMMKTHANKS! Seriously, I need a Xanax before I can check email or maybe i should switch to adderol b/c people seem to have a lot to say and a lot of people want to say it. I'm like GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "but sally didn't you get it? you were CCed on the email." No bitch! I didn't get it. Actually i probably did but it was encased in a thousand fucking useless words of bullshit. And really, how can I remember the one sentence you ask me about when there are about a million useless ones? Okay redundant argument but still. Totally true. It's all very Coco Chanel " before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off." Less is more bitches. Make it work. Before you send that email--really consider 1.) Should you really hit reply all? 2.) Is anyone gonna give a shit? 3.) Wtf is the purpose of my email and lets make it quick and to the point.

Meet Me at the Crossroads

Remember that song from the 90's? "Meet me at the crosssroadsssss so you wont be lone-lay!" The other words to the song are a mystery for most. Something about the guy's Uncle Charles and what not. I digress. I feel like I'm at the crossroads of my life again. Still not sure what to do, who to spend energy on and trying to be more assertive with those I really shouldn't waste anymore time with. Waste more time meaning like, they've had too much of it already. I'm not really in a negative mood so much as I am thoughtful one. Throughout the madness of the past few months, I forgot about how amazing some of my friends are--even the ones I didn't think I was so close with. Other friends I really trusted have really let me down and made me question their motives. And there is one friend I miss dearly...our disappearing friendship or whatever makes me sad. I think it's a good time right now for me to start things over--for the millionth time. I hate like I feel like I'm starting from ground zero all the time but a fresh start is a fresh start so here I go again...!

How Will I Know!

Oh Whitney you wonderful crackhead...

(For those of you who are new readers, all of my blogs are lyrics from songs. Odd way to start a blog but my seasoned readers know the drill--my blog my rules!)

So, I was lamenting about the last time I saw a movie in a theater (side note: those who dont know me well or at all, i haven't seen lik 99% of movies out there. short attention span...)

Typically if I went to the movies it's because it was on a date.

Problem?

I didn't actually KNOW it was a daaaaaaaaaaaaaate-date. Twice actually.

"It's a date" is such a common phrase. A colloquialism if you will.

Anyways, I was talking to Favs Erine and recounting the story about my unclear date with MF. Long story short (sorry Erine darling, you always get the long versions of my story haha), I was just friends with MF and we both wanted to see the same movie.

I thought it was just one of those, oh you say it in convo and no one ever REALLY follows-up on it deals like when you run into a friend from the past and say "we should hang out!" Sure you both mean it (in that it seems like a good idea at the time but the more you think about putting effort into it...it's like ehhh) but it's an unspoken "yeahhhhhh not gonna happen"

But then MF did suggest a time and day. I had nothing planned so i was like okie.

He said over his should "sounds good--it's a date!"

I was like word. (Romantic and lady like response, i know)



So anyways, I didn't think much of until I realized 10 minutes after we met up that it WAS a daaaaaate date. But i still wasn't sure.



Frankly...i still dont know if it was.



As Erine so eloquently put it "Well it was a date. Obviously, not a GOOD date."

(Thanks for the vote of confidence...former favorite erine...hahah)



You'd think that after all this time, I would know but i STILL dont. I guess I could ask MF but I'm afraid of what the answer is.



BFF has once told me, "Sally...you wouldnt know if someone was hitting on you if they were literally saying 'Sally. I am currently hitting on you...You'd be like ok la la la and then wander into traffic and still not understand what the guy is saying.' "

(And thanks for the 2nd vote of confidence...former BFF...hahah)



Then my darling Lindsey wanders in and what does she do? SHE TAKES ERINE SIDE that "It's a date" means "it's a date" as in like a daaaaaaaaaaaaaate date. Yes, repeating the word and dragging it out DOES change the meaning.

Their rational is that straight single men and straight single women dont saythat to one another and hang out one on one unless it's meant to be more.



I was like there was no making out involved in either one of my 'date's!!!



To which Lindsey in all her Phadrea (RHOA) southern belle glory looked straight at me and said "You dont have to make out with someone for it to be a date--esp not the first one!!!"



HAHAHAHHAHAH


Damn her and her logic and morals! I'm like WHAT? No tongue action? No smushing? Surely that wasn't a date!



I was like "Durrr...hahah that came out wrong linds. it's like why buy the cow if the milk is free etc that whole saying."



Then i wondered if i just called myself a cow. And I'm def not lactating.



Both of those are besides the point.



The point is, "it's a date" doesn't MEAN that its like a true daaaaaaaate. Does it?!?!



I took a poll:

Adam- no turned yes

Mike- no turned yes

Harley - solid no (MY BOY!)
My SVP - a very confused no (along with a suspicious--shouldn't you be you know...working??? expression on his face)

Lindsey- YES! *Dont give free milk
Erine - Yes



What do YOU all think?!



I know, rather counterproductive for me to ask given that I removed commenting as an option from here...hahah



Whatever. I still think I'm right. I think. More people to poll tomorrow...

Bye, Bye, Bye

Ah, bye bye bye to Brant who's moving to TX.

Just got back from his farewell get together and wow--it's the first time i've been out in a looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time.

I literally don't think i've been out since...






Maybe Pamela's bachelorette party.

Seeriousssllllyyyy!!! It's funny how somethings changed and how somethings never change in terms of nightlife.

Brant had his farewell in a divebar called Fast Eddies--very low key and i need low key right now b/c my job is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to intense.

It cracks me up how no matter how long you've been away from nightlife, how certain things never change, especially in fairfax.

I've been away from the FFX scene for YEARS now (honestly, im soooooooooooo over it and lets be real, my ass is too damn old for it. I'm starting to become too old for Clarendon too!) so it was very interesting to be back in it.

It was a very entertaining people watching night. And for those who dont know, 'people watching' is a polite and PC way of saying 'judging'

Yup. I said it. I've officially blown everyone's spot now. Hahhaah

Here are my observations:
-There will always people who WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY over dress for the ffx scene and I can't for the life of me figure it out.

-I'll also never figure out why people from one table will judge all the other tables around them. It's like if we're all here to drink, relax and have fun, why can't we all just do it together like one big party instead of 15 different ones in a competition. Okay so someone is laughing a little too loudly at the next table or you caught the wrong part of a convo--who the fuck cares and why are you eavesdropping? There's no need to whisper and stare and roll your eyes. That's just my opinion.

-Ladies..why? Why why why why can't you just wait until summer before you pull out your summer clothes? There's no need for the short dress sans leggings and open toed shoes, tube tops and tank tops with no jacket or cardigan when it's 27 degrees. Like unless you all are from like freakin' Canada or something and this is summer weather to you, put it in your closet until summer. It's cold bitches!

-The quality of karaoke singers has vastly improved from when I used to go out. We were there for pool and to catch a drink and suddenly I see a HUGE projector screen a guy with a suitcase looking thing start to set something up and i was like yeahhhh karaoke. The girls all had great voices, actually. Minus the homeless beverly hills girl. (SUPER tan, VERY blonde, pink fuzzy kangol hat, awkwardly short white leather boots and a long coat dress thing that fell at an awful lenght--maybe 4 inches above her ankle and the top of her boots started an inch below the hem of her dress...not to get all project runway on you and im certainly no fashionista but come the fuck on. Plus she was super short. It looked a hot mess. Guess Ken kicked Barbie's ass outta the dreamhouse??) Though I've gotta give it to her...it was pretty entertaining to see the room full of guys get visibly uncomfortable all together when she started singing "Don't want no short dick man"

-Why do black people in Fairfax feel the need to act super hardcore gangsta/act like the cliche cool black person? Maybe it happens in other places too but in Fairfax, there aren't many black people but the ones who come out here OVER DO IT. it's obnoxious!! If you're so hard core dude, go to DC and then see that youre actually just kinda lame.

Top 3 laughs?
1.) Why was a man wearing a HUGE wrestling belt for no reason? I know he thinks (b/c he said so) he's the people's champ but damn, really? Maybe b/c he thought it made his waist look TINY? Dont get me started on when he started playing like a guitar. Or rather, the way people THINK that the guitar is played. Me being an actually guitar player, i can tell ya uh no. haha whatevs all in good fun.

2.) Is everyone who goes out in FFX shopping at Fredericks of Holllywood or Hot Topic? Sure looks like it.

3.) Why did everyone judge me for belting out "Baby" by Justin Bieber? As i so eloquently told Christy (who did a great job singing "rehab"!!!), "Why am i the only one who knows all the words to song..why's everyone starting at me...judging...well everyone can kiss my ass. This song is the shit!"

It is. Accept this as a fact people.

The Venga Bus is Coming!

Except it wasn't a bus. It was a van. And the second part of the lyric will make a lot more sense to you once you're done reading my whale of a tale.

So...

A Sally goes to a gas station during her lunch break to get cigs (i know...) and talk to her BFF's on the phone and clean off the car window with the squeegy thingy.

And see wha-ha-happened was...

A man and woman in a van are apparently talking to me and i had no idea. Then the guy says "MISS?" And pulls the van up to me. Being the street savvy girl i am...i walked right up to it.

YEAH. I'm bright.

Anyways, i then get asked a string of unrelated bizarre questions:
-Are you American?
-Are you married?
-Do you know what the inhalers club is?
-Would you be interested in working in adult entertainment?

You know...the normal questions you ask someone mid day on a monday....

They hand me a business card (ewie. i dont wanna touch anything they did!!!) and drive off. It has something on it in swirly letters--i dont much pay attention to what it says. i put the card of shame in my coat pocket, they drive off and i throw it away.

Before they drove off they said "If you dont know what an inhalers club is, ask that guy!" and pointed to the guy diagonal from me. I looked at the guy and before i could say anything he looks at me and says "Sweetie, i dont even know those people" and goes in the the gas station shop.

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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....


Happy Monday???

Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend...

So...have you ever like been mad about something and then you're totally over it but when you tell the story to someone you get all mad again?

Yeah that's me right now.

SO. Why the angry Sally?

Angry Sally is SICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK of being harrassed by this CRAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZY girl at the gym and her equally dumpy friend.

I know her. Kinda.

Basically she's this crazy bitch who hates me for talking to/dating/whatever this guy that she...well I guess she liked. I dont know. Apparently she liked him and then they didn't work out and he met me and he liked me (and for my best friends who know...he liked me a LITTLE too much--nothing says love like a restraining order hahahha)

She called me "submissive little Asian girl" and a "dirty slut' The first one she said to a mutual party (mutual at the time) and the second thing, she right out said when i was walking by her at a bar.

She goes to my gym.

It's a free country. I get it.

BUT.

She STARES AT ME the whole time. She and her friend will get on machines RIGHTINFRONTOFME and whisper and turn and stare.

My normally happy iPod music, changes and while i'm chugging away on the treadmill, I'll go from a bouncy fun song from Britney, BEP etc to Tupac, Eminem and Rage Against the Machine.

It's to the point where the people in the middle row separating us, turn and look at me too!!

I dont go to the gym at the same time and sometimes i swap out days! Like if im grabbing drinks or dinner with a friend i might skip a night i normally go on and then go the next day. AND SHES THERE!

ONE TIME, the CREEPIEST time, she was on EVERY machine next to me. The treadmill..i was running, she was walking but staring at me. then i got creeped out and moved to the bike (aka the fat girls' idea of a work out). She hopped on the bike next to me....BUT DIDNT PEDAL. SHE JUST STARED.

Then i went to go stretch out and she sat in the area RIGHT BY me and walked out of the gym. Staring is exhausting i suppose...?

I dont know.

It's annoying and it's frustrating. And as I just told my darling Christy just now, "an angry sally in a room with freeweights is NOT a good idea."

I dont know what to do. I'm not changing my gym. I'm not changing when I go (not that's ever at the same time anyways).

Should i say something to her? I thought about flicking her off the next time her and her equally cunty friend stare at me. But that's just childish.

And gratifying...

Or should i say "WHAT BITCH? GOTTA PROBLEM? MAD AT ME B/C I HAVE TWO EYEBROWS AND YOU DONT?"

And it's not just me that thinks she's crazy. Pamela KNOWS she's crazy b/c she knew the girl before i did!

That said, Corinne you fucking old ass weird crazy stalker bitch--if you're reading this, FUCK. OFF.

And if you're not? I'd like everyone reading this regardless if i know you or not, to message me and i'll tell you her last name. Hit her up on facebook and tell her to back the fuck up before she gets smacked the fuck up.

KTHANKS!